


love for home

by higayimdad



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bad boy Lee Minho, Chaos, Cigarettes, Forbidden Love, Freeform, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Grease, It doesn't concern any of the boys!! but it's talked about, Jisung is in love, Jisung is new in town, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Minho, Strangers to Lovers, but better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22885615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/higayimdad/pseuds/higayimdad
Summary: Jisung is new in town, during a hot summer day he meets the myserious boy Minho. Who sports black leather jackets and a careless attitude. The two of them soon get involved in secret and Jisung only finds himself falling more and more in love underneath the golden sun and pink skies. What follows is months of fooling around in secret behind the dumpster at school, in alleys in the most deserted parts of town and of course their favorite spot; the rock by the beach were they met.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 47
Kudos: 290
Collections: lets reread homies





	1. June

**Author's Note:**

> 2020-10-01  
> In light of some somewhat recent events regarding Woojin, I have decided to go through all of my old skz aus and edit him out. This is not a process that will take just a few hours, but something I'm going to have to do over time. Though, for me, personally its very important that I do this. Hopefully, when whoever reads this,,,reads,,,,this,,he's completely gone from this story. If not, please know the author is doing her best in removing him from the work.
> 
> My love and support goes out to all victims involved in this, you are very brave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of my new story. I was listening to the grease soundtrack and got in my feelings sorry
> 
> This is not read through lmao so please point out obivous mistakes if you see them.  
> (As the tags mention, this fic WILL mention suicide, not in this chapter but in future ones. You will be properly warned once again when it comes up)

It wasn’t that Jisung felt the need to escape, there was no point in feeling so relieved about moving. He should miss his friends, he should miss his old house, the street he grew up on and the memories he made there. But he didn’t, instead he sat in his parents car and watched as densely populated streets and never ending apartments turned into smaller roads with gravel that shook under the car and trees mightier than the skyscrapers at home. Home? That wasn’t his home anymore. He was traveling cross country with his parents and older brother, who sat with his headphones over his ears and twiched around his seat uncomfortably trying to sleep the ride away. Pushed Jisung whenever he got too close or when something of his touched him. Snarled at him every 10 minutes for unknown reasons. An hour into the ride his brother snored lightly in the seat next to him, neck bent in what looked like a painful position and head thumping every now and again against the window. 

He admired his brother a bit for being able to just sleep the trip away, instead Jisung stared out the window and counted every red car that passed them. It wasn’t fun nor entertaining, but it was something to pass the time. After the first bathroom break Jisung had counted 34 of them, it was about 2 hours in. They stopped to eat once it was about 50 miles left, they had passed 98 red cars at that point. He barely noticed how the time passed, the music in his ears blending together into one single melody and the surroundings outside becoming one single blur. He was awake the entire ride and when the family of four stepped out of the car after spending about a total of 5 hours in it, they had passed 172 red cars. Jisung had never seen the house they were moving into, and he was easily the most excited one. Grabbing his backpack from the car and running up to the front door to pull on the door handle. 

“It’s still locked sweetie.” His mother came up to him and rubbed his shoulder, she picked up a pair of keys from her pocket, shiny and new and put them in the lock. Twisted it and the door opened inwards. _Home. Is this my new home?_

It was undecorated and bleak, a few furniture left by the previous owners. Jisung ran around the house, he had seen the blueprints for the house, and somehow wanted to know if it was the same. It was. 

One master bedroom, three smaller bedrooms, two bathrooms, an open space kitchen joined with the dining area. The living room was much bigger than their previous one and already had a flat screen installed. His mother followed suit and waited for Jisung’s brother to come. Once he did she crossed her arms and gave them a stern look. 

“Okay boys, two of the three spare bedrooms will be yours. One is slightly bigger-” She put her finger out when Jisung opened his mouth, she knew what he was about to say. “and that will be out guest room, so you won’t fight over it. Your dad and I have already planned ahead what we will do to the rooms. That room over there will be your father’s office” She pointed at a white painted door, next to the entrance. “half of the basement will be used for storage and- the other half is right now planned to be used for your brother’s training equipment and my sewing things.” She looked straight at Jisung. 

Both brothers nodded, their parents were set on these types of stuff. The two boys could do whatever, absolutely whatever they wanted with their own rooms. But the rest of their house was their job.

Their mom waved them off, and now it was a fight of life and death. So they weren’t allowed to get the bigger room, but one of the other two must be better. And both wanted it. 

“Dibs on this one.” Jisung’s brother screamed. He got the room that faced the backyard. It was small, but felt much more anonymous than the room Jisung got. The window in his room faced the neighbouring house, parallel with the window of their house. This gave Jisung the feeling that he had to keep the curtains down at all times. He huffed, threw the backpack on the floor and then walked downstairs to help his father with moving things from their car into their house. Their new house, their new _home._

“When is the moving truck coming?” Jisung asked, once the remainders of the stuff from the car was inside. His father glanced on his wristwatch. 

“One is arriving in 2 hours, that one has all of our beds. And then the last two come tomorrow.” 

Jisung nodded. He was about to walk back up when a knock came from the open door. 

A women, probably mid 40’s stood there, a younger boy by her side. He had strawberry blonde hair, suntanned skin and freckles covering every exposed inch of his body. What was presumably his mother, was incredibly like him, freckles, dark skin, except she had natural black hair. The woman opened her mouth. 

“Hi! Sorry to intrude. We wanted to bring a tray of baked goods. And invite you over for dinner later tonight. We live in the house next door.” She reached the tray over towards the two of them, and his father happily took it. 

“Oh we don’t want to trouble you.” He tried, voice humble.

“Nonsense, come over by 7 and the food will be ready. You are four right?” 

Jisung’s father nodded. 

“Well that’s perfect, it’s going to be a feast tonight then. It’s going to be me, my husband, my two daughters and my son,” she gestured at the boy next to her “Felix.” 

“Hi.” He mumbled. Jisung taken aback, it sounded like he had gone through more puberties than necessary, yet the face stayed babylike with soft features. 

The Han family walked over to their neighbours, they sat down with the family of 5, which seemed to consist of only social butterflies. None of them held back, they talked and laughed, offered wine and food. And when dinner was over and their parents started talking about topics that wasn’t interesting to the children Jisung’s brother wandered of home again with a “I’m tired mom.” Felix sisters retreated into their respective rooms and shut the doors behind them. 

“You going home? Or do you wanna follow me back up to my room?” 

They wandered up the stairs, their house was similar to Jisung’s, but still very different. Turns out the room opposite of Jisung’s was Felix’s. It was weird, the other boy’s room was cluttered with things. Action figures in bookshelves, a big computer on his desk with a rainbow keyboard. His sheets were unmade and one pillow laid lonely on the floor. 

“Sorry it’s so messy, didn’t know mom would invite the new neighbours so fast.” 

“It’s fine, if I had my furniture my room would be equally as messy.” 

They chuckled a bit, it was slightly awkward. Felix threw himself on his bed, gestured towards his computer chair; silently said “sit down”. 

“So, you coming from the big city huh.” 

“Yeah, it’s weird. This town is so, small.”

Felix sounded surprised, maybe for someone who had lived here his whole life Jisung’s comment on how small it was shocking. 

“Small? It’s not so small.” 

“You have two high schools and like 30 000 residents, that’s a small town.” 

“Aish whatever,” It looked like Felix considered his next words. “do you miss it? Incheon?” 

“No not really, or I mean I guess I do. But, I think I can like it here. A new start you know?” 

The freckled boy nodded like he understood. Then they sat in silence for a while. When the first yawn escaped Jisung Felix smiled at the other. 

“Here give me your phone.” Jisung handed it over reluctantly, and watched as Felix typed in his number and wrote his name in the contact info. “When you are properly moved in, send me a text and I’ll give you a tour of town.”

Jisung thanked him and walked home. He heard his parents laugh in Felix’s backyard, likely still occupied in a conversation with the other’s parents. He suspected they would be there for awhile. His own room was still empty, scarily minimalistic, currently only housing a few boxes and his bed. Before going to sleep he sat in his bed, who stood just underneath the window, he opened his phone and sent Felix a text. 

**_Me_ **

_Look out the window_

About 5 seconds later the light in the others room was turned on and he saw the other in the window. Waving, before laughing and miming what Jisung believed was _“_ goodnight.” 

It was nice, it felt like he just met his first friend. 

* * *

It took a few days to completely move in (well almost, half unpacked boxes still stood just about everywhere), rearranging furniture until it felt right and focusing more on the tiny details instead of the bigger picture. 

“Jisung you have two full boxes of clothes stop looking through old stuff.”

“But mom! I found my old gameboy and I was just trying out some old games.” 

“Not now! Finish those things first, now.” 

So maybe it took Jisung one or two days more to properly “move in” than what it took his brother. 

One morning, when it felt like the sun was barely awake and the birds still sleeping Felix took Jisung on a tour of their city. Or most of it at least. They ate an early breakfast at a diner in west, went biking along the different suburban areas. They paid a visit to one of Felix’s friends, who lived a 30 minute bike ride from them. 

“Seungmin.” he had introduced himself politely, but as soon as Felix and Jisung departed from there, to continue the tour Felix had exclaimed that “don’t trust the polite shell of Kim Seungmin, he’s very childish, in a good way. But he’s one hell of a devil. Love him.” 

Then they rode past the school in the southern part of the city, it was the school Felix was attending, and Jisung was going to attend when school started again after summer break. It was bigger than he imagined, maybe even the same size as his old one. But it was older, some parts of the painted facade cracking and fading from the sun. Despite it being the beginning of summer, they spotted some people hanging by the backside of the building. The sheer stressed facial expression Felix had when he spotted them was enough to realize it was time to move on. 

Felix showed him all the best places of the city, where the best restaurants were, the arcade, shopping mall, and the last stop of the tour was; the beach. If that was what you could even call it, there was a small square of sand by the lake, a poor excuse of a beach but it was what it was. To Jisung’s surprise there was a lot of people there, those who couldn’t fit on the sand laid their towels on the grass and seemed to enjoy it just as much. 

They sat on a park bench until the beach cleared of people and the sky turned from bright blue to a deep purple color. 

“Felix I have to tell you something.” Jisung shifted in his seat, tried to make himself comfortable even if it felt impossible.

“Okay.” The other looked quite nervous for a second. 

“I’m kinda, gay? Or not kinda. I am gay.” He was in no way ashamed of his sexuality, but it had become a tiresome reality of him having to reintroduce himself to people at some point in their relationship. And Jisung had found it was better to just do it before than later, no point in getting attached to people who would end up hating you. 

Felix laughed, not like it was funny. More like he was in shock.

“You serious?” Jisung nodded, “damn I’ve heard gay people kinda pull towards each other like magnets, but I didn’t imagine it being like this. Don’t worry, I don't think any of my close friends are straight. Neither am I.” Felix looked so soft and humble when he spoke, even if his voice was rough and dark. And Jisung felt relieved, like no other. 

“Does your parents know?” Jisung asked with big eyes, like a deer caught in a pair of headlights. 

“Yeah, they don’t care I think. Maybe sad they won’t get any grandchildren from me,” Felix just fiddled with the string of his bracelet. “you?”

Jisung shook his head and started out at the calm water, and they left it at that. 

They went home after what was probably hours of talking. 

The next day Jisung biked to the beach by himself after dinner. It was probably hotter than the summer had been, and he now lived much more south than before, the change in weather very noticeable. The t-shirt he wore felt soaked once he arrived at the beach. 

Apparently the whole city had the same idea as him to cool themself in the water. It was packed with people. The water had been warmed up the whole day but the most painful hours of the sun was over, so a perfect time to go bathe. It was just a cluster of colorful towels and tanned bodies. Frankly Jisung had no real idea where to go. He parked his bike by a lamppost and begun wandering around, in search for a place to sit by himself. To his surprise he found a passage behind an overgrown bush (yes he was that desperate to finding a place both by the water and by himself) that lead down to edge of the lake. A flat rock laying like a picnic blanket just by it. Maybe perfect. He felt hidden to the public, he could throw his shoes off and cool his feet in the water. 

He sat for a while, scribbled words on a paper that felt as clear as day in his head but complete chaos once written down. Jisung stared at the clear blue water in hope for it to whisper exactly what he was supposed to write down. 

“You are sitting on my rock.” Someone deadpanned behind him. It made Jisung pull his feet out of the water like there was sharks and spin his head so fast he could hear it crack. 

Someone stood behind him, tall. Dark hair that was parted on the side. He wore a black leather jacket that made Jisung wonder how he didn’t die of a heatstroke and blue jeans rolled up by the end, exposing his trashed out black sneakers underneath. It was ridiculous how much he looked like the straight up stereotype of a “bad boy”. His face was contradictory though, untouched skin, maybe even bigger eyes than Jisung with light brown irises and pink tinted lips. Almost beautiful. No, not almost. He was beautiful. 

“Your rock?” Jisung questioned, the only answer he got for the first 10 seconds were a look which screamed “ _god are you dumb, yes my rock!”_ before some sort of realization hit him.

“Ah, you are not from here. Right? I would know if I had seen your pretty face before.” And the other stepped forward, crouched down and begun untying his own shoes. Jisung didn’t know what to say to the obvious flirtation, was it even flirting? What if Jisung flirted back and the other took offence? 

The dark haired boy sat down next to Jisung and carefully let his feet sink into the water, almost letting out what sounded like a moan at what was probably cold water hitting hot skin. 

“No I’m not, I just wanted to be by myself.” The other nodded, like he understood. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Jisung. Han Jisung.” 

“Has anyone ever told you you kinda look like a squirrel? Your cheeks are big and your front teeth prominent. Not in a bad way. It’s cute.” 

Jisung didn’t even know if he should take offence or not. Surely he complimented him but was his teeth really prominent? Jisung never thought of it.

“Ah, yes. Some have I guess.” 

And the other quieted down. Just stared at the water like it was the most interesting thing in the world. But he said nothing. Jisung just observed the water with the other, maybe waiting for something to happen. And it did, the other one, the stranger, reached into the pocket of his jacket and brought out a white packet. At first Jisung didn’t understand what it was, but it hit him soon. And he must have been staring as the stranger pulled a long white stick from the packet and offered it to Jisung. Unconsciously he looked at it with disgust. 

“You dislike smokers huh?” 

“I- No not exactly, but I don’t like the smell and things”

“Well baby if you hadn’t been sitting on my rock you wouldn’t have to smell it.”

The stranger threw the different pet names like it was nothing, _pretty, cute, baby_. And it was obvious how flustered Jisung got, his ears burning red and cheeks getting hotter with each passing second. The other noticed, looked him up and down and smirked. 

Jisung huffed and stood up, leaving wet footprints on the rock. He stepped into the converse with wet feet and it was anything but comfortable. Small trails of smoke reached his nostrils as he gathered his things. The stranger didn’t pay him attention. 

“Well I didn’t know stupid people could own stupid rocks in this town. I’ll be leaving.” He was a bit dramatic, but couldn’t care. 

“I’m here every day at the same time.” 

He wasn’t sure if it was a threat or an invitation. But the next day, Jisung was back. He wanted to "own" the rock, even if it was just to spite the other. And like the other had said, he was there at the same time. More or less ignoring how Jisung tried to proclaim his place on the rock. 

Today the other took his jacket off, he seemed relaxed, and closed his eyes. They ignored each other, like there was a brick wall separating them. But after a while the other maybe grew tired of Jisung’s aggressive writing or sighing. Because he opened his eyes and tried to glance at the other. Honey brown irises. 

“What’s up?” He asked. 

And they talked for hours, and Jisung found out three things about the other. 

  1. He has really nice arms and shouldn’t hide them under the jacket. 
  2. His name is Minho
  3. He isn’t so much of a badboy as his appearance paint him out to be. 



When the sun started setting and Jisung had gotten a text from both of his parents asking him where he was and when he was coming back home he understood it was time to bike back. But before leaving, he stood fiddling with a leaf on the mighty bush and glanced at Minho, who sat in the same position as an hour earlier. Jisung had to ask. 

“Are you really here everyday? At the same time?” He felt embarrassed. 

“Yes, don’t worry.” 

Jisung couldn’t be there everyday, but when he found the time he would escape in secret to the rock by the beach and talk to Minho for hours. Maybe the other didn’t talk so much, but he didn’t mind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will likely be once a week, I'm writing as fast as I can lol
> 
> Comments and kudos greatly appreciated! <3
> 
> See you next update!


	2. July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jisung spends a lot of time with Minho

_ “What? How long will you be gone for?” Jisung sat spread out on his friends computer chair.  _

_ “We leave in 3 days, we’ll be gone for three weeks. _ ” __

_ “That’s so long Felix.”  _

_ “We always go back to Australia during the summers with Channie-hyungs family. Don’t worry, I’ll be back in no time.”  _

The window opposite of Jisung’s was dark, there was only a few small lights in the windows around his friend’s empty house. Without Felix Jisung had no real clue what to do. He had been introduced to Felix’s friends a while back, at the west diner. 

“Jeongin.” He had high cheekbones and sharp eyes, Jisung was almost surprised when he found out he was younger. 

“Seungmin.” They had already met once. 

“Chan.” Deep dimples and dark hair. 

Though they were all incredibly nice and welcoming, Jisung felt far too shy to even consider asking one of them (well not Chan, he was in Australia with Felix) if they wanted to hang out. So he spent a lot of time alone, and every now and again he visited the beach. And with every passing day Felix was gone, he found himself going there more frequently. 

Minho, the other boy was...interesting. There was something about him. Usually Jisung had a hard time talking with strangers, but he had no problem with Minho. There was a lot of things Jisung liked about the older. He would listen to Jisung’s irrational problems for hours without end without complaining. He would laugh even when Jisung told the most boring jokes. He acted like a tsundere, but sometimes Jisung could physically feel Minho’s heart warm up. He liked how Minho felt easy. 

He liked that Minho was beautiful, if it makes sense to like someone because of that. One day, when they watched the sun go down Jisung got the opportunity to observe the other in golden sunlight up close. His sharp features, his soft features. Another time, the first time Minho actually talked about himself he sat with his back facing Jisung; which the younger took advantage of to start braiding small small braids into his hair, and Minho leaned into the touches, even if he pretended he didn’t. 

But the thing Jisung loved the most about Minho was his featherlike kisses. Yes that was it. 

They had kissed, for real. It wasn’t just a ridiculous dream of Jisung’s. No, one evening the two sat on the rock. Jisung had brought a blanket for them to sit on, so it wouldn’t be so hard. And Minho was for some reason very flirty that night, like very. He pinched Jisung’s cheeks and told him he was cute. Minho complimented Jisung’s eyes and told him he liked how natural the blond hair was on the younger. And Jisung felt drunk on the compliments, like he was free falling. And it must’ve been obvious in the way Jisung gazed at the other’s face what he wanted. 

Minho was confident, he grabbed Jisung by the chin and roped him into a kiss. Which at first was more like a peck on the lips; and when it was clear none of them hated it, they continued, let the kiss deepen. Jisung hated how he didn’t hate the taste of smoke on the other’s lips. He loved it in fact. Chased after it when they had to take a break to breathe. Maybe not because it was the taste of smoke, but more because it was the other. Minho was older but didn’t take it to his advantage, his hands caressed the others face and he tried to ask between kisses if it was okay. 

So maybe it wasn’t Jisung’s fault if he was so close to falling head over heels in love with Minho. 

* * *

“This is our little thing right?” Minho asked, the other’s head was resting on his arm. The two of them were lying flat on the rock. 

“Yeah.” Jisung hummed mostly, couldn’t really bother to open his mouth. 

“Good.” The older boy tried to comfortably thread his fingers through Jisung’s blonde hair, but couldn’t really reach. 

They never really had  _ the  _ talk. What this was. Sure they spent a lot of time together, they kissed and slowly but surely got to know each other. But as soon as one of them left the rock, they were strangers. They knew each other's names. Han Jisung and Lee Minho. Minho knew all about how weird Jisung felt being new, he talked about the anxiety of beginning school again, how he wanted to talk to his parents about who he was but felt like he couldn’t. Jisung listened to Minho when he felt hopeless and when he felt stressed. But they didn’t have each other’s numbers, Minho didn’t blame Jisung if he didn’t show up to the rock and they weren’t more than that. Two guys on a rock.

They just liked to escape into each other’s embrace. Feel another heat than the one from the sun and be someone else. But if what they had was just a friends with benefits thing, a summer fling or if they were actually in love none of the boys actually knew. 

Jisung turned so he laid on his side, head still resting on the other’s bicep. 

Confidence he absolutely normally didn’t have grew inside Jisung, which is why he felt comfortable giving the other a kiss. In his head it was supposed to be romantic, on the cheek. But Minho turned his head at the same time, so Jisung’s pouty lips kinda just bumped into the corner of the other’s mouth. Causing a quiet “oh” to escape them both. 

“Ah Minho-hyung.” 

“What?” something close to a light chuckle escaped Minho.

“I tried to be romantic and sappy.” 

“Why?” 

Jisung didn’t know why, so he didn’t answer. Instead he closed his eyes and bathed in the last of the evening sun. He wondered for a second if his parents knew where he was. Once they had asked him; and he just told them he was looking for music inspiration in nature. In all honestly they were probably just happy he wasn’t spending the whole summer in front of his computer in a dark room with the blinds closed (and they knew he was way too shy and unpopular to even attend parties. And way too much of an coward to do anything illegal, so mostly they didn’t care). And since he always arrived home safely that was good enough for them. 

As the sun were closer and closer to being completely engulfed in the horizon he felt a shiver, even the warmest summer days come to and end and let the cold night take over. Jisung also felt himself grow hungry, even if he ate just a few hours ago. The comfortable silence (except for the surprisingly good music Minho put on about 20 minutes ago) were disrupted by Jisung’s stomach, that let out such a roar even Jisung got scared by it. 

“Mm you hungry?” the older asked. 

“Yes...maybe I should head home.” 

Jisung couldn’t even see Minho but he felt the other tense up for a second, and he guessed his eyes were wide open.

“But this is so comfortable.” Now Minho rolled to his side, poked Jisung’s cheek. Gave what could’ve been the most pleading face ever. Bottom lip poked out and eyes glimmering in the soon to be blue light. “We could eat.” Minho added. 

“Together, like in public?” 

“Yeah, you know the diner just past the gas station, like west of the school? It’s almost always dead empty by now.” Minho suddenly sat up, causing Jisung to almost hit his head on the rock beneath them. The older shuffled around and finally found what he was looking for, his phone. He stood up and walked a few steps away from the younger. 

“ _ Ah Woojin! Is the diner empty, can I come by with...with a friend? - No we want to be alone.”  _

Jisung flinched at the word “friend”, and something in him felt disappointed. But in all honesty he wasn’t even sure what he would call their relationship if he was asked to put a label on it.

“ _ Perfect, we’ll be there soon.”  _

Minho started gathering their things, put on his leather jacket and grabbed Jisung by the hand. Tried to drag him up. 

“Come on let’s go. My friend Woojin works the night shift at the diner by himself so we will practically be alone.” He smiled big, like really really big. Though his face was hidden in a shadow by his black hair and nightlight. Jisung didn’t feel offended that Minho only wanted to be seen when there was no people around, frankly he wanted the same thing. Not because he was ashamed or scared. He just liked the secrecy of this, their own little thing. 

“Oh okay, but I didn’t bring money.”

“I’ll pay idiot.” 

They rode side by side on their bikes, the landscape around them becoming blurry and unnoticeable, Jisung felt like a child again. The cold night air hitting him in his face and making his eyes teary, but in the most amazing way possible. 

The two boys arrived outside the diner with yellow neon signs and 70’s aesthetic, Jisung had been here once, the day Felix took him on tour. But that was in the morning, with the sky blue and birds just waking up. The lights from the diner was barely noticeable in the sun. Now the sky had been filled with stars, the moon shining just as brightly as the sun, casting shadows on the ground before them. Jisung looked over at Minho who stood next to him, and his normal light brown eyes were almost honey like in the yellow lights, the lights themselves weren’t attractive in any way. But Minho was. 

Someone greeted them lazily at the door, he was leaning over the counter and played with his phone. Once he noticed them he straightened his back and let the phone slip into his back pocket. He looked much bigger once he stood straight, shoulders fairly broad and face masculine. Though he looked friendly once he shot them both a smile.

“Hello.”

Minho didn’t answer him (he did a friendly nod) but just shooed Jisung to a booth in the far way back of the diner. They were the only two there and it felt like it would echo if they talked to each other. 

Woojin (Jisung guessed it was Woojin at least) came up to the two of them with a menu each and a notepad in hand. 

He barely gave them 10 seconds to look at the menu before opening his mouth again. 

“What can I get you?” Jisung guessed that Woojin and Minho were close friends, yet the server had a forced customer service smile. Even if his body language was relaxed around them. 

“I’ll have the…” Minho lingered on the last word for a second “the cheese fries, and a chocolate milkshake.”

Woojin nodded and scribbled it on the paper, then he looked at Jisung. He was still unsure about what to get, barely having time to look at more than 5 of the meals offered on the menu. His eyebrows scrunched up in concentration while looking for something to say. Minho grabbed Jisung’s hand and searched for his eyes. 

“Do you like fries and chocolate?” He asked, which Jisung answered that he did. So Minho turned his attention towards Woojin. “He’ll have the same, and uh...can we get strawberries on the milkshake? And like extra whipped cream? Oh and if you have any leftover food you are gonna throw out-” 

“Yeah yeah you freeloader, I know what you like. What about you?” Woojin turned to Jisung once again before leaving their table. “Is there something you don’t like?” 

Jisung shook his head and Woojin disappeared into the kitchen, and soon they could hear the sizzling of the fryer and chopping of food on cutting boards. Jisung sent a text to his mom telling her he would be home soon. Minho stayed looking out the window, watched as first one car passed, then another. 

“ _ Fuck!”  _ Woojin screamed from the kitchen. Both boys in the booth widened their eyes in waiting for an explanation. 

“Uhm, blondie, can you help me.” Woojin followed up. 

“Me” Jisung pointed at himself and mouthed it to Minho, who shrugged his shoulders in a  _ I guess, who else?  _ way. He looked equally as confused as Jisung but still ushered him to go. 

Jisung walked into kitchen with caution, he noticed the fries laid in baskets with nacho cheese topped with bacon and onion, he noticed the two giant glasses of chocolate shake, topped with a mountain of cream and decorated beautifully with strawberries. Then a cutting board with, tomatoes a knife and, blood?

_ Oh my god that’s blood. Where is Woojin.  _

A wince echoed from the back, and Woojin in his glory stood with his hand underneath running water, cleaning a  _ very  _ deep cut from rushing blood. 

“There is a first aid kit by the entrance to the kitchen, please grab it for me.” 

Jisung did and helped Woojin clean up his wound, bandaged it carefully. Not once did he question why Woojin asked him to help, instead of Minho. Even if he thought of it for a moment, it passed in a second. 

“My name is Jisung by the way.” He said after helping Woojin finish the last of the food, the younger even being in the kitchen probably violated several health regulations, but none care. 

“How long have you known Minho for?” 

“Just a few weeks, 3-4 maybe? What about you?”

“We are childhood friends, like middle school.” 

The two of them walked back to the booth with all the food (not including the bloody tomato) and set it on the table. Minho noticed the bandage on Woojin’s hand. 

“You okay?”

“I cut myself. It’s fine.” 

Jisung sat down, opposite of Minho. Maybe he expected Woojin to sit down with them. 

“You two better get out in 40 minutes because I need to clean and close.” He dried his hand of nonexistent water on his pants and walked back into the kitchen. 

The food was delicious, the milkshake just as much and when Minho finished his before Jisung he promptly added his own straw into the younger’s glass and drank from it. Earning a light smack to his hand from the blonde. They sat there for about 30 minutes before Minho took their dishes and brought it to the kitchen with him, Jisung walked towards the entrance and waited there for the other. It was almost 1 am and he wondered why he didn’t feel tired yet, maybe it was the food, or the bright neon lights, maybe it was Minho. 

He heard the two older males bicker from the kitchen, but he couldn’t catch one word of what they said. Soon he saw Minho come out, now with a black backpack in hand. 

Jisung was apparently much more surprised than he thought, because Minho answered the question without the younger even having to ask it.

“I forgot it here a while ago, bringing it home now.” He held the backpack up. 

They stepped outside, and in the the short time they had stayed in the diner, the night had become chilly. Goosebumps spreading on Jisung's arms through the windbreaker. He tried to hug his body while walking to their bikes together, not really wanting to tell the other he was cold. 

Without a word, Minho pulled up a hoodie from the backpack and handed it too Jisung. It was black with a big print on the front of a smiley on fire. Jisung merely mumbled a thank you before putting it on, it smelled mostly of something chemical. Not bad per se, but it wasn’t at all what he expected. He thought it would smell like woods and smoke like Minho did. 

It was big on him and simply fluttered in the wind, but it was nice underneath the jacket and something about it made him feel warm, maybe not just the fabric itself. 

Jisung didn’t even notice that he rode the way home, and that Minho was following him with trust. So when they reached the end of the street, still hidden from nosy neighbors and open windows. Jisung slowed down, and Minho stopped besides him. They didn’t talk at all, but Minho understood that this was the youngers neighborhood and that it was time to call it goodnight. Minho reaches out and motioned for Jisung to come closer, it almost resembled the way someone would invite someone to a fight. 

The kiss was warm and sloppy, the older smiling through it all and threading his fingers through the others blonde hair. He pulled away and left Jisung chasing for more.

“Goodnight blondie.” the older whispered, hand still on the others neck. Jisung cringed at the name. But let Minho have it. 

“Are you going home?” 

“No I’m-“ Minho pulled a can of spray paint from his backpack. Even in the dark Jisung could see how yellow it was. The smell of chemicals on the hoodie made a bit more sense now. “yeah you know” Minho mumbled.

“Okay, don’t get it trouble. Goodnight.”

And they left each other there. Jisung would go to bed and he wouldn’t feel so sad about Felix not being home, if it meant he could spend even more time with Minho. His stomach was filled with butterflies thinking about what for or where Minho would use the spray paint. Jisung had never done something illegal, and Minho did it like it was nothing. He should feel bad for finding it so exciting, but he didn’t. 

Minho would go to the far ends of town, where the houses are vacant like ghosts lived there and the warehouses empty since long. He would spray the yellow, orange and red paints that he had available into beautiful flowers and paint them like beams of light, even in the dark of night. Then he would go to bed when the sun was rising again. From the apartment he slept in he would hear snores echoing through the walls and a cat would lie by his side. He would think of the younger and his features, he would fall asleep content with himself. Like he was full, not on food. But something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will still likely be about once a week, thank you for your patience
> 
> Comments and kudos greatly appreciated! <3
> 
> See you next update!


	3. August

It wasn’t a surprise when Jisung’s brother was the first one to find out. Several days a week Jisung would come home around midnight, even if his parents grew suspicious they never talked to him about it. 

_“Where have you’ve been?”_

_“Fuck! Jihoon-hyung you scared the shit out of me.”_

_His brothers dark silhouette was seen down at the end of the corridor. He was standing like a disappointed mother, arms crossed and head tilted. Jisung stood with his hand tightly around the doorknob to his own room and Jihoon, his brother begun walking towards him._

_“Come on tell me, where were you? Partying? A girlfriend? Are you doing drugs?”_

_Jisung’s eyes widened unconsciously at the word girlfriend._

_“Oh my god Jisung are you doing drugs?”_

_“No I’m not doing fucking drugs, keep your voice down you’ll wake mom and dad up.”_

_“Tell me what you are doing or I’ll tell mom you are doing drugs.”_

_Jihoon started wrestling with Jisung’s arms, keeping him from escaping into his room. Jihoon was smiling in a jokingly manner. The brother pulled the longer metaphorical straw in both height and general size. He was also slightly obsessed with keeping his figure in check, so he was superior in muscles too. In seconds he had both of Jisung’s arms captive in his hands._

_“I was out with a...friend.”_

_“You have no friends except Felix and you weren’t with him, so girlfriend?!”_

_Jisung’s cheeks heated up, Minho was far from his girlfriend. But they had spent most of the night kissing. Barely talking at all. He tried to hide the blush and turned his head away from his brother._

_“There is a girlfriend apparently. What’s her name?” Jihoon felt pleased with finding out the secret._

_“_ ** _His_ ** _name is Minho.” Jisung just mumbled quietly, much squeakier than anticipated._

_“You have a boyfriend?” he was surprised, but not exactly in a bad way “Who would want to date you?”_

_Jisung pushed his brother away when he loosened the grip on his arms, at first Jisung almost thought the older was disgusted or mad at him, but the joking was light and he smiled, in the way brother's used to tease. Once Jisung managed to get into his room his brother followed suit, still sporting a devilish smile. The older brother paced back and forth a few times while Jisung threw his stuff on the floor, then he stood in the threshold._

_“He is not my boyfriend, he’s just-”_

_“You are something. Okay, well. Do I need to have_ **_the_ ** _talk with him? And with you?”_

_“Over my dead body, no absolutely not. Get out of my room now!” Jisung felt embarrassed once again, and walked forward to push his brother out._

_“Okay okay okay whatever. But when you are coming home from your nightly adventures with your boyfriend, keep it quiet. I know you know I’m a light sleeper.”_

_“Don’t tell mom and dad, please.”_

_They said their goodnights, and Jisung spent a while trying to fall asleep. Still afraid his brother would accidently spill and tell his parents he spends his nights kissing boys, or more specifically one boy and that’s why he’s gone all the time. But he knows he would never do it, the amount of secrets Jisung knows about his brother is hope enough that the other wouldn’t say anything._

* * *

Felix had come home from Australia even tanner than before he left, he had told Jisung about the entire trip. Even if he had preferred to stay inside most of the time his parents had dragged him on _“seriously hundreds of trips Jisung”._ So now he was tan, the freckles even more prominent and just a little bit red on the nose and cheeks. Jisung knew the sun in Australia could be aggressive, but he had never travelled outside Korea so he had never seen the result of the hot Australian sun like this. 

The friday before school was starting up again Felix was prompt on Jisung following him to the diner to eat with Chan, Seungmin and Jeongin. “ _We have done this forever before school starts, you are my friend now so you have to join us.”_

Felix and Jisung met with the other three outside the diner, this was the first day of the summer that felt cold, the sky grey and clouds never ending. Jisung wore the hoodie Minho had gifted him underneath the same windbreaker he always wore. The hoodie barely smelled like the older anymore (or like the chemicals), since his mother had taken it and washed it. It disappointed him when he found out, but he had made up a plan in his head. If he could give it back to Minho for just a second and let Minho wear it the scent would stick to the fabric. And maybe then Jisung could steal it back. 

The group of five stepped into the diner, and Jisung recognized Woojin at the register. The boys sat down and waited for a waiter to arrive. 

“Doesn’t that make us the waiters?” Chan pointed out. Earning not a single sincere laugh but rather a chorus of monotone "haha's" from them all. 

This time it felt much better talking with them for Jisung, he felt included in the conversations. It seemed as if they were even more comfortable with him, as he got comfortable with them. Soon enough they were laughing from their hearts at Chan’s stupid jokes and cooing when Jeongin accidently got a mustache of whipped cream. 

Woojin walked past their table once and asked if the food was okay, the whole atmosphere got weird, Felix who in Jisung’s opinion is a real social butterfly quieted down. Chan simply took the lead of the group and gave the waiter a forced smile. “Yes thank you.” After Woojin walked away it felt lighter again, it was like the whole table was dead afraid of Woojin. Jisung couldn’t see how, just a while ago Jisung sat here with Minho, and Jisung helped Woojin and they almost laughed together (even if they pretended like they didn’t know each other now, for some reason). He looked soft and friendly and was honestly an ideal service worker. 

They moved past it and enjoyed the rest of their meal, even if it was obvious none of them could really stop thinking about it. Something inside Jisung urged him to ask about it, he never did. Afraid that it was something personal or a topic that wasn’t supposed to be talked about and everyone just _knew_ it. 

After about 2 hours spent in the diner they left, to what seemed to be to all the waiters delight (especially Woojin). 

“Are you not following back home?” Felix asked, sitting on his bike ready to go home. 

“Ah no, I’m gonna do a few things first. But don’t worry, I’ll be back a bit after dinner I think. You want me to come over then?” 

“Yeah sure. Talk to you later.” 

Felix biked off and Jisung took his time choosing music to listen to, then he jumped on the bike and rode as slow as he could to the beach, and the rock. He knew Minho would be sitting there waiting for him. He was nervous for a reason he didn’t know, his guts knew, but not him. Soon he could see the small beach and the mirror like lake, reflecting the sky grey as it was. 

He strutted through the bushes and saw the older sitting on the rock like always, he noticed the trail of smoke coming from in front of him. 

“Hi.” Jisung whispered. Walking closer to him. 

Minho whipped his head around and quickly ashed the cigarette, even if it looked like it was just lit. He put it back into the pack and placed it inside his jacket. 

“Hi, I didn’t know if you were coming. Haven’t seen you for like 3 days.” 

“I’m sorry, I have been stuck at home. But I wanted to see you before school started. And mom will keep me home like a prison guard to make sure I’m not up late days before school like this.” 

Jisung sat down next to him and immediately leaned his head on the olders shoulder like it was a habit. The smell of pine woods and smoke sneaked it’s way into Jisung’s nostrils. He loved it strangely enough. 

“It’s okay. Just missed you I guess.” he shrugged, and Jisung wanted to tell him that it was okay to show emotions. Instead he hummed and tried to find the others hand with closed eyes. When he did he intertwined them and felt the rough skin of the others knuckles.

“Are you still coming here every day once school begins?” 

“No probably not, maybe once a week or so. Less.” 

They sat there for a while, none of them daring to talk. Instead they took in the last day of summer vacation they would spend together. The trees were still green and the grass was soft. The water warm and the sky reflecting their own depressing moods. It was melancholy, bittersweet and lovely at the same time; if possible. 

Jisung felt lips on his temple, softer than they had ever been. Then on his cheek and finally on his lips again. Jisung’s lips were chapped and so was the others, it tasted like smoke and heartbreak. Like they were stuck in a movie with an unhappy ending. 

“Blondie…” Jisung both hated and loved the nickname that for some reason stuck with Minho. 

“Once school start, you need to pretend like you don’t know me. Lee Minho isn’t someone you want to be associated with.” He sounded sad. 

“Why?” 

“I can’t explain it, but I’m sure one of your friends will.” 

“Minho-hyung?” 

He shushed him and placed another kiss on his lips. Jisung knew he wouldn’t get one answer out of Minho now. So he let Minho kiss him and he bathed in the affection he got, since it felt like he wouldn’t get too in long after this. 

An hour or more passed, Jisung didn’t know, he just knew that he had to go home. 

“I need to…” 

Minho understood without Jisung having to go on, like they spoke a nonverbal language only they could understand. 

“I should probably also…” Minho carried on. So they stood up and gathered their things. They held hands for a second to long before Jisung let go and started walking back, when he reached the bushes he looked back at the older, standing there with his signature black leather jacket and big eyes too beautiful for this world. He opened his mouth and was ready to tell Jisung something, and the shift in his face went from sorrow to playful in seconds. Almost scary. 

“Han Jisung, if this is the last I see of you I’m gonna come to your house and throw rocks at your window. Your lips are way too good to let go without a fight.” 

“Lee Minho, the same goes for you. I don’t care what anyone thinks of you, I wouldn’t let you let my lips go without a fight either.” 

Maybe they weren’t in a movie with an unhappy ending at all, because Jisung left with a smile on his face and heart a bit lighter. Yeah, this felt good. 

Instead of going home, Jisung parked his bike outside Felix’s house. He walked in without knocking and all he got was a “Hi Jisung-ssi” from Felix’s mother in the kitchen, he greeted her back and proceeded to walk up the stairs. 

Felix was stuck in a game, so immersed he didn’t even see Jisung stepping in the room. The others eyes were glued to the screen and the large headphones isolated all sounds. Jisung walked around him and laid down in bed, in wait for Felix to die in the game. And with a slam to the table and a series of curse words it was obvious he had done that.

The friend spun around the chair and faced Jisung.

“I swear some people are USELESS! They! Can't! Even! Play!” During the last sentence he took a break in between each word. 

Jisung always found Felix's angry rants funny. The other walked up to his bed and scooted down next to Jisung. Even if Jisung definitely was one for affection and physical touching like hugs, but he had never met anyone like Felix. He craved it constantly, even if the two of them had a new friendship it wasn’t unusual for them to cuddle next to each other or Felix demanding hugs. It was endearing in all ways possible. So when Felix turned to his side and threw a leg over Jisung none of them flinched.

“You smell so much like smoke Jisung. Or the shirt” 

“Oh, I-“ 

“I don’t care if you smoke but my mom is gonna be mad if she thinks I smoke.” 

Jisung pushes Felix off and took the hoodie off too, he knew that was the thing Felix thought smelled like smoke. The fabric was one of those that just suck up scents like it’s nothing.

“I don’t smoke, but I was standing next to a group of people smoking so I think it stuck on me.” 

He got a understanding hum from the other before he fell back down on his back. 

“You wanna come over on Saturday? I’m gonna redye my hair. Need help.”

“Sure, isn’t it gonna fall off though?” 

“I take care of my hair, yours is the one that looks like it would fall off it you brushed it.” 

“Ouch, my self esteem” Jisung grabbed his chest in a very dramatic manner and let out a fake cry. 

* * *

Jisung stopped outside the big entrance with Felix, he was fighting against the urge to just grab his friends hand out of fear. Felix had told Jisung it was good if they arrived early so that he could give Jisung a tour of the school before, Jisung had hoped that would mean there wouldn’t be so many people. In all ways possible he was wrong. They arrived almost 45 minutes early and still students were flooding it from all ways possible, parents dropping them, some riding bikes and some walking.

“It’s fine, we don’t have to go around the whole school at once. Just a bit so you don’t get lost.” 

Jisung nodded and followed Felix when he started walking, he was already multiple steps ahead of him and for a moment Jisung got scared he would lose hm. But the now _very_ red hair was hard to miss, even if they would’ve been in masses of people. Most students that walked past them had black or dark brown hair, and as the two friends walked next to each other they looked like one of a kind. Blonde and red hair. 

_“So this is the school yard as our teachers call it, there is one basketball hoop and absolutely nothing else.”_

_“This is the bus stop, during winter when you can’t bike we take the bus”_

Felix stopped, and it seemed as if he hesitated to walk further. Jisung could faintly spot a group of people behind the school.

“What’s that?” Jisung walked towards them, and when he got not more than 5 steps closer he saw not what, but who it was. Minho, Woojin and two other guys stood by a dumpster and talked. Minho and one of the guys Jisung didn’t recognize smoked. 

They locked eyes, Jisung and Minho. Instinctively the older dropped his cig on the ground and stomped on it, which was apparently to his friends surprise.

“What are you doing? You lit it like 30 seconds ago?” 

Then his friend saw what caught Minho’s attention at the same time as Felix grabbed him by the arm to drag him backwards. 

“That’s the back of the school. It’s just dumpsters and other _trash_ there. It’s better to just stay away from them, there I mean.” 

“Who are they?” 

“Three of them are seniors. One of them is in our class. We can talk about it later, let’s finish the tour.” 

" _There_ _is numbers on all of the classrooms right here, so if you get lost you just need to know what room you are in.”_

_”There is bathrooms on all floors obviously, they are usually placed around the staircases.”_

_“This is our home room, we are in the same class so you can mostly follow me around to get to know the school.”_

Maybe it was good they were at school so early, because once they were done it was barley 10 minutes before classes started. They had met up with Seungmin and made plans to eat with Chan and Jeongin as they were both in different grades; later at lunch. 

During the first class Felix, Jisung and Seungmin sat at the far back by the windows. The classroom was big with a lot of students, even more so than in Incheon. It must’ve been 30 students. The first 20 minutes of the class was mundane and boring, as expected. 

A student practically barged in, the door flung open and he walked in. Dark clothes and a black velvet choker around his neck. It was one of the guys Minho was with this morning.

“Hwang Hyunjin. Not beginning the year with coming on time I see.” The teacher stopped the class and all eyes were on the guy at the front.

“Guess not.” 

“I will write you up.” 

“Okay.” He was calm and walked to the back of the classroom, there was an empty desks there. And when Hyunjjn sat down it was obvious it was left empty for him. No one really paid attention, but at the same time everyone paid attention. 

When class was over the students flooded the corridors and most were on their way to next class.

“So,” Jisung begun once the three of them were alone. “That’s Hwang Hyunjin.”

“That’s Hwang Hyunjin.” Felix nodded.

“And he was one of the guys behind school this morning.” 

“Yep.” 

“Funny how he can be 30 minutes early for school and still 20 minutes late for class.” Seungmin scoffed. 

“Who were the other, um, the other three.” 

Jisung almost forgot he had to pretend he had no idea. 

“Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Kim Woojin. Seniors. Most people think Woojin is the only one even having a chance to go to university out of the three of them. I personally think the other two will either be in jail or be dead in 5 years. But I have also heard both he and Minho has been arrested so.” Felix shrugged, like it was nothing.

“Christ, but do you dislike them? Remember that I know nothing here.” 

“They are troublemakers Jisung. They like playing with the law and people, you can’t trust them. And I mean you have seen them! They look cold blooded. And did you hear me? They have been arrested! For what I know it could've been murder.” It sounded both like he joked and was dead serious. 

“Ok Jisung, Felix is a bit overdramatic. But he’s still right, they don’t care about anything. They are mostly just walkling trouble.” Seungmin took the the redheads hand, which was flailing around while they were talking. 

When school was over, a day way to long and exhausting for Jisung. They walked past the schoolyard once again, so that they were able to spot the backside of the school. The group of four stood there again, dressed in black and tough clothes. Like they wanted to be stereotyped as delinquents. Jisung managed to catch the attention of older student. Without talking they set up a silent agreement. 

Without acknowledging that Jisung stared at them, Felix raised his voice. When they were far enough away, so no one would hear them. 

“Seriously Jisung. Don’t get involved with them, you have been here 2 months. I’ve been here since I was like 2. They _are_ trouble. They don’t care about anything but themself and their weird gang, hell they are criminals.” 

”Okay” was everything Jisung managed to get out. He was relieved Felix didn’t make him promise.

After dinner Jisung told his parents he would just go out and get some fresh air on the bike. _“I’ll be gone for maybe an hour. Not more”,_ he got one both understanding and questioning look from his brother. 

He met Minho at the rock. They only had time for a quick hug. And Jisung rummaged through his backpack to dig up the hoodie. 

“Don’t laugh at me, but could you please wear this? Mom washed it and _you_ disappeared from it.” It was sheepishly, and Jisung felt an awfully lot embarrassed. 

Minho laughed, but nonetheless he took it and promised to. 

“So, did your friends talk shit about us? Saw you two this morning walking around school.” 

For a second Jisung wondered if he should lie, but Minho would probably in all honestly respect if he told the truth. 

“Yeah. Said you were criminals. That I shouldn’t be involved with you four. That you don’t care about anyone but yourself.” 

“Hm.”

“Is that true?” 

“I guess it is. Technically we do stuff that aren’t legal all the time. But I care about things, so do the others.” 

Jisung almost waited for him to say that he cared about him. _Oh Jisung of course I care about you, I’m in love with you!_

“Do you think I shouldn’t be involved with you.” 

“No, I like being involved with you. You know. But I would understand if you didn’t want to.” 

“I want to, I like this.” Jisung pointed at the two of them. 

They didn’t kiss tonight, they sat in the evening sun and the younger managed to gain courage to ask the other for his phone number. So that they could actually communicate with words in private. Minho nodded and then ushered the younger to go with a light kiss. “Talk to you later blondie.” 

Lately Jisung had thought of it. What he had with Minho was far from a friends with benefits thing (especially considering they hadn’t gone further than second base, barely that) and since summer was technically over, it wasn’t a summer fling anymore. Jisung wanted to put a label on it, he was excited and inexperienced. And he was, very much in love with the other. Maybe he didn’t fully know it, but he was. How flustered he got when Minho touched his cheeks, and how he felt like drowning in the shining eyes of the older. How the older treated him like there was no one else, even if he had a bad boy stereotype painted up he acted nothing like it with Jisung. Somewhere deep inside him he made a mental note to ask Minho at some point what they were, but refrained from it now. For now he had to just accept that they were simply involved with each other. Yeah involved. 

“ _Oh shit wait are we involved? I guess we are and I literally won’t know what to say if Felix’s promises me not to get involved, because I don’t like breaking promises but I don’t wanna stop this thing with Minho I mean he is so pretty and he is also sweet and a good kisser I mean I have only kissed like a total of 3 people and one of them are Minho and hell Minho is the best.”_

His mind was interrupted by a message setting of a notification in the dark and silent bedroom. 

**_Minho_ **

_blondie_

_blondie_

_Han Jisung_ ~

**_Me_ **

_Already regret asking for your number_

_What do you want_

**_Minho_ **

_are u allergic to cats_

**_Me_ **

_What_

_No_

**_Minho_ **

_good cuz I’m wearing the hoodie but my cat is lying on my chest so_

Minho attached a photo of him with a cat; grey, speckles of white and almost black too, but the picture was grainy and blurry. Clearly taken in the dark. 

**_Minho_ **

_dori~_

Jisung laughed at how different Minho behaved compared to how his friends described him, and even different from when the two of them were together. Maybe there was something in not having to face each other. With all the personalities Minho portrayed, or the personalities others portrayed him to have were all contradictory or was on far ends of all the spectrums, opposite of each other. 

The younger blonde understood when he drifted off to sleep that he probably would never truly understand the older. He was too complex, to many sides that would take ages to explore every single one. He could always try, if Minho let him. 

If Minho let him, Jisung would get to know everything about him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I have spent the last 4 days more or less holed up in my room reading the entirety of the untamed and i just finished it and could just now move on with life 
> 
> Updates will still be around once a week, I'm writing as fast as I can lol stay tuned
> 
> Comments and kudos greatly appreciated! <3
> 
> See you next update!


	4. September

“Okay Jisung hear me out!” Felix clasped his hands together. “Since your birthday is the day before mine, and Seungmin has his like a week after ours. Why don’t we have a joint birthday party?” 

Jisung was dead tired, he was an ambitious kid and in his own opinion very smart. But struggled with school nonetheless, and for days he had stayed up pretty much until morning came either trying to work or distract himself from life.. September had come along and the trees started to lose their beautiful green color. They were still far from yellow and orange, but it was just a question about time. He liked the idea of having a shared party, mostly because all the attention wouldn’t be on him. And Felix would most likely fix and plan the thing himself, much to Jisung’s delight. 

“Sure, that sounds fun. The weekend after our birthday or the one after Seungmin’s?” 

“After ours! Or I’ll check with him when he comes.” 

Felix and Jisung were the first two in the first class of the day, they waited both for the rest of the students to fill the desks and Seungmin to come. To their surprise Seungmin came in almost last, hurrying in to sit down at the back with his two friends. Hyunjin was last in, walking with a calm pace. Seungmin was pale and a drop of sweat was forming just by his hairline. 

“Guys I need to tell you something.” He managed to breathe out before the teacher entered and begun with class. 

The moment the teacher said his goodbyes, reminding them of homework. Seungmin escaped followed suit by his two friends. They reached a vending machine at the very end of the hallway and Seungmin pressed the buttons harshly after putting in his money. 

“If I die you should know why.” 

Felix and Jisung waited for him to keep on. 

“So I was a bit late to school today, obviously, and I was running up the stairs by the entrance and when I turned a corner I literally run straight into Hyunjin. And he fell! He fell!” 

“What did you do then?” Felix had big eyes and almost sounded excited. 

“Well I kinda just grabbed his hand and helped him up and I apologized like 4 times but I didn’t really understand what I had done until I was walking away and then it hit me. What if he like kills me now.”

“Because you bumped into him?” Jisung chimed in. 

“You never know.” 

Jisung couldn’t help but huff at the presumption that Hyunjin would kill Seungmin. Jisung had never spoken to him personally, but Minho spoke humbly about him. How cheery and dramatic he was, how he could make the whole group laugh with him and how passionate he was. In fact Minho spoke so good of his friends Jisung almost though Felix and Seungmin had fabricated everything they had told them about the group. Though, when they saw them in the corridors and everyone was avoiding them like they carried the plague, Jisung just had to accept that there was two sides to all coins. 

After school Felix had stayed at the library with Chan to study, Jisung sat with them for a while, but eventually left. Telling them he would go home early, because he was so tired. He did though take the chance to see Minho for a second before leaving. Walking behind the school to see the older standing there, hiding by the dumpsters. 

“Hi.” He whispered to greet the older, even if there wasn’t anyone there to hear him if he screamed. 

“Hi.” Minho whispered back, if not even more careful. 

They didn’t kiss, Jisung tried to force a hug out of the other, and succeeded after a while. 

“Gosh you are so clingy today blondie.” 

“Mm, can’t help it.”

Gravel crunched behind them. Minho held a hand around the blondes waist and barely flinched at the sudden sound. But the blonde, Jisung, turned around so fast he thought he would spin a whole 360°. Behind them, Hyunjin, Woojin and Changbin were walking. They all greeted Minho, and pretty much ignored the other. Who curled into Minho’s side, with the olders hand still resting on him behind his back and on his waist. Hyunjin lit a cigarette and offered one to Minho, who thanked him but still said no. 

“So, this is your new boy toy Minho-hyung? He’s pretty in pink, a little bit...pastelly? _Veryyyy_ cute” Hyunjin asked, it was obvious he joked but something still felt unsettling with the name. Jisung was also suddenly very aware of his clothes in comparison with the group. Who almost exclusively wore black, dark blue and grey clothes. While Jisung had a bubblegum sweatshirt underneath the fluffy white jacket. He didn’t fit in. 

“No. His name is Jisung, he’s not my boy toy.” 

“Ah no! He must be something else. Minho doesn’t even smoke around him. That’s new.” The boy with straight black hair, almost black eyes and dark eyelashes flashed a smile. Changbin. 

“I just don’t feel like oweing Hyunjin-ah smokes. Leave us alone.” Minho laughed it off, and Jisung tried to do the same. 

“Blondie”, Woojin spoke for the first time, then he motioned for Jisung to touch his nose. 

When Jisung swiped the back of his hand over his nose, he didn’t expect it to leave a red mark. What he thought was just a common runny nose was a nosebleed, It tasted like iron in his mouth and he could feel that it wasn’t going to stop soon. In the corner of his eyes he saw Minho’s face lose color and eyes go wide. Jisung had to tilt his head backwards from preventing the blood from just dripping down. 

“Jisungie...are you- are you ok? Changbin get paper or something!” The voice switched from sweet to snarly in seconds. 

“It’s okay Minho-hyung, I get nosebleeds when I’m tired.” He couldn’t look the older in the eyes properly with his head tilted back. But he noticed how Minho stared off into the distance, almost almost ignoring Jisung. 

When Changbin came with a handful of paper seconds later Jisung thanked him. First he dried his nose of wet blood and then put bunched up paper in his nose. Preventing more blood to run down. He looked at the red stained paper in his hand and went to throw it in the dumpster behind them. Minho was still stiff, and when the hand fell back on the younger it wasn’t natural, unsettling. As time moved on Minho relaxed into the younger. 

Jisung felt nervous around the others friends and never spoke to them, but he listened to their conversation for a second while using his phone.

Once he left he understood why Minho liked them so much, they were just as giddy as Jisung’s friends and talked about just as much, if not more nonsense and shit. But he also understood why people feared them, they valued freedom and free will, they didn’t do things people told them to do and as much as they were sweet they were tough and intimidating. Hyunjin and Changbin talked about how they both had detention for skipping. Which reminded Jisung of Felix telling him about the two seniors (alleged) arrest record. 

Though Jisung definitely didn’t mind their presence (it was in fact Jisung standing there with them, intruding on them) it felt uneasy just being there with them. It wasn’t just because of Jisung’s shy side, it was the sheer presence of them. They radiated something Jisung couldn’t put into words, it wasn’t scary per se, but he did understand why people were to avoid them. Even if it only made Jisung curious and secretly excited for the next time he would see them. 

The morning thereafter Jisung looked straight at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and observed himself. After washing his face and drying it he took notice how light and happy the outfit looked. Bright yellow T-shirt and light wash jeans. Hyunjin’s joke from yesterday echoed in his head “ _pretty in pink...pastelly, cute”._ This wouldn’t do. 

He looked at the time and decided on changing his clothes. Hurrying in his room before he and Felix had to go. 

“Jihoon-hyung! I need to borrow your leather jacket!” He screamed while running to his brothers room. 

“Why?” 

“My normal jacket doesn't go to my outfit” 

Jihoon looked up and down on Jisung’s now all black clothes, the jeans ripped and the black sweater hanging loose on his figure. He stood up and rummaged through his closet before throwing it at Jisung.

“I swear, be careful.” 

“Thank you love you bye see you later.” 

In the hallway he stole his dad's pair of dr Martens, happy they were the same size. Though he already felt warm and stuffy he felt proud in managing to pull of such a look in just 15 minutes. He would ignore Felix comments on his new style and Jeongin’s gasp when they met at school. He would feel proud when he noticed how Minho and his friends ogled at him in the cafeteria. Maybe he would even throw a cocky smile at Hyunjin in class. He would later smile when a Minho sent him a text. 

**_Minho-hyung <3_ **

_don't let Hyunjin get to you_

_you don't have to dress like that if you don't want to_

Minho would later laugh when he got his response from Jisung

**_Jisungie_ **

_maybe I want to_

_maybe I should wear this more often u were literally undressing me w ur eyes_

To which he responded that he should, and that he liked it as long as Jisung did. Needless to say that Jisung’s brothers jacket became a frequent piece of clothing in his own closet. And he did very much like the way he started dressing, even if Minho voiced multiple times that he was worried that he only dressed like that to impress him. 

“ _I don’t dress to impress baby, but I’m flattered.”_ Jisung said to Minho one day at the beach, it had felt like the last real summer day of the year. It was also the first time Jisung had called the other by anything else than “Minho-hyung” and “idiot”. 

* * *

Felix parents had promised that he, Jisung and Seungmin could host some sort of birthday party at their house. But there was a maximum of 20 people in the house, no alcohol or drugs, they would be home again at 1 AM without exception. They had to live with Felix’s sisters being home (though one leaving after dinner to be with a friend and the other hiding in her room) and also Jisung’s parents keeping their eyes on the house from their own. 

Though Jisung almost thought Felix would actually invite 20 people, they ended up as 12. Instead of loud music and alcohol they cooked food and played games in the living room. Except for Jisung, Felix and Seungmin (and obviously Jeongin and Chan) there was various of people from their class or their friends class. Three he recognized from his own class, though he already forgot his name he thought it was Choi Soobin. He also faintly remember being introduced to two of Chan’s friends, but their names slipped out of his mind as soon as he heard them. It was very fun, though he was nervous and shy. Felix and Jeongin had a karaoke battle and they played music quizzes (Jisung’s team won). Though he felt very exhausted from hours of socializing once he came home he was happy he got to experience it. It was one of those moments he truly believed he would remember forever.

The smiles, the few birthday presents, his friends. Everything, he was determined to remember it all. He would be a fool not to.

“ _I’m serious Jisung, no matter where you are or how old you are. Remember this.”_ he whispered to himself before falling asleep. 

* * *

Minho wouldn’t say he fucked up. No that’s not it. But when he got a text from Hyunjin in the middle or first class on Monday that asked if “he knew Jisung’s birthday was last Thursday?” because no, he didn’t, and yes a wave of literal stress washed over him. He could feel himself sweating in places he didn’t know he could. He wondered if that was why they hadn’t seen each other since last Wednesday, because he was mad Minho didn’t congratulate him. _But he never told me. Did he?_

**_Me_ **

_jisungie_

_meet me tomorrow by the rock after school pls_

No sooner than maybe 20 seconds later Jisung answered him with a “okay see u tomorrow then” which at least through text felt no different from his other texts. So Minho prayed he wasn’t mad. But now another problem was brought up, and that was what he was supposed to give to Jisung as a gift. If the boy way actually here he would tell Minho not to buy anything at all.

“Woojin, what do you give someone as a birthday gift?” Minho reached forward and poked his friend in the back, who sat in front of him. 

“Depends I guess, who they are and what your relationship is with them. Who is it?”

“You know, he.” 

“Ah yeah. Can’t you just ask him what he wants?”

“Do you know nothing old man? It’s supposed to be a surprise.” 

Changbin came in and sat down. As if he had been listening to their conversation even if he wasn’t there when they begun talking. 

“Give him something _really_ meaningful. That only you two get. And throw in some food too.” 

Minho was almost surprised that Changbin was romantic, if you could call it that. Minho still had no idea what was appropriate to buy. Or what for that matter. For the entirety of the class the words that came out his teachers mouth became mute once they reached Minho’s ears. He wasn’t even sure what kept him distracted, mostly it was Jisung, for a while it was the crow circling around a piece of bread outside the window, then it was back to Jisung. Neither he nor his family was big on presents, if anything they went out to a restaurant to eat on a birthday. But gifts were a rare occurrence, so Minho never became good at giving them. 

_“Can you be GOOD at buying birthday gifts?”_

He never figured out whether or not he was good at it, but instead he rushed out of school before the last period. For he had something in mind, which he hoped Jisung would like. 

“Hey” Minho stood upright on the rock when Jisung met him the day after. There was much about that felt similar to the first few times they met this summer. The way Minho dressed and held himself. The way he spoke, the way he looked at the younger. To anyone who had known Minho for longer knew that he was different, some would say for the better. He seemed happier, calmer, he wasn’t out as late at all. But he was still Minho in the end. 

“Hey” Jisung smiled back to him, big. Eyes closing themselves yet eyes shining bright when they opened again. 

Like a couple, they had a habit of greeting each other with a kiss. Still, even after almost four months of messing around. Neither of the boys were sure what they were. 

“I got you something, close your eyes.” Minho whispered, he waited until Jisung closed his eyes tightly. Jisung shivered when Minho took his hand, he was always cold against Jisung’s warm ones. He felt something, even colder than the olders hand touch his skin around his wrist. Like ice cold metal. 

“Okay open them.” 

Jisung looked down on his wrist, it was a thin braided leather bracelet, but it wasn’t the leader that burned cold on his skin. No it was the tiny metal disc braided into the bracelet, it couldn’t have been bigger than 2 cm. Jisung could spot the small engraved in the disc. 24/6 it said. 

“What’s this?” Minho expected a grander reaction from the other, again, not very familiar with gift giving. He suddenly felt nervous. 

“It’s a- a birthday gift. Do you not like it? I can-”

“Oh no, Minho I love it. But why?” Jisung’s smile shot back to his lips, filling Minho with relief. 

“It was your birthday…” 

Jisung hugged Minho, wrapped his arms tightly around the others neck and brought him down even if he wasn’t that much taller. Jisung threaded a bit of the black hair between his fingers. He could smell the pine, the awful cigarette smoke, he could feel the others heart beat in sync with his own. He felt ridiculous for wanting to cry at the small gesture. Minho’s arms fell instinctively around his waist and hugged him tight too. The only sound to be heard around them was the birds in trees, the mysterious sounds of the water. 

“Thank you.” He couldn’t contain the excitement and let his legs jump up and down a few times. Shaking them both. 

“The date, on the bracelet. It’s the day we met. Sorry if it’s sappy.” Minho barely, barely mumbled into the skin on Jisung’s neck. 

There was another sound, but Jisung was sure he was the only one who could hear it. The sound of his heart pittering and pattering inside his chest. The complete opposite of the sound of a heart breaking. Jisung was in love. 

Jisung wasn’t just in love. 

He was in love with Minho. Like he had never been before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONCE again I have been spending so much time this past week either being in school or glued to my screen now watching the untamed series on netflix (someone pls msg me on twitter and let me profess my love for cql on there) but the update is still here and! I hate it! Or ok not hate it, but I don't really feel that happy about it either.
> 
> Updates around once a week, thank you for reading. 
> 
> Comments and kudos greatly appreciated! <3
> 
> See you next update!


	5. October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter will contain MENTIONS of suicide, if you are sensetive please proceed with caution. If you don't want to read this chapter because of this I suggest you to either comment or msg me on twt @hopeonmydick if you'd like me to explain what happened it the chapter, as some things are crucial for the story. Thank you.

Jisung fiddled with Minho’s fingers, they were stained orange and matched the leaves on the trees. 

“Have you ever been arrested before hyung…? Felix told me a while ago that you had been.”

“Yeah I guess I have...but I think arrested is a bit dramatic. It’s not like I was in jail.” 

“So you have?” The two of them shared the bench that had appeared next to the dumpster by the back of the school. Making them completely hidden to everyone else unless someone walked back here. The back of the school was simply facing a giant storage building. It had no windows facing them and it made the two boys feel secure and alone. 

The bench wasn’t there two days ago, who and why they brought it here was still a mystery.

Minho laughed at Jisung's shocked reaction. 

“Yeah, I think it was trespassing. But another time I think it was vandalization.” 

Jisung gasped, but then proceeded to quiet down. He said nothing else, and for a moment Minho thought they were leaving the conversation at that. And as he enjoyed the silence, he didn’t engage in it any further with the other. He just let Jisung continue to play with his fingers, like a child. Until Jisung opened his mouth and begun speaking, like he had practiced the sentence a 100 times in his head. 

“Hyung, can you please take me with you when you paint. Just once.” 

Minho thought about it for a long period of time, juggling back and forth on what to say. 

“Can I even stop you? Sure but I don’t see why you would find it fun.” 

“Then promise to tell me when you will do it next time.” 

The blonde lifted the others hand and lifted his pinky into the air, and then twirled his own pinky around it. Minho didn’t have to promise, as Jisung did it for him. The older didn’t mind, instead he smiled lazily at the other. Soon they left each other and the school, Jisung biked along the trees. He realized that the different colours of fall must be Minho’s favorites, his hands were almost always stained in different yellows oranges and reds. Even in the beginning of the summer he could see it on the older, and as the sky became darker each day and the trees changed color Minho looked happier. 

Involuntarily, Jisung was happier too. 

* * *

One text, it was in the middle of the night and Jisung didn’t see it until the next morning. He noticed it came around 4 am in the morning, despite it being a Tuesday and both had school. “on Friday, meet me at the rock at 11pm.” And Jisung knew exactly what the older meant. 

He kept his promise after all. So that Friday Jisung biked away in the night, he simply told his parents he would be home later and hurried before they had the chance to protest. Though he could hear his mother gasp a “Jisung!” before he shut the door behind him, he was sure they wouldn’t care to much as long as he came home alright. The weather had changed drastically and he felt the cold wind prickle his cheeks, making his eyes watery and nose runny. When he went to park his bike, he noticed the black run down bike Minho always rode thrown on the ground. Where it always was. The younger hurried through the bushes and was met with the older standing with his backpack between his legs and a lit cigarette between his lips. The dark hair almost reflected blue highlights underneath the moonlight and shivered slightly, still only wearing the leather jacket. Once the older noticed him they greeted each other with a light peck like always, then he opened his backpack and showed the blonde what was inside. Cans of yellow, orange and red spray paints. 

Minho was in the lead, Jisung riding his bike just after him. The older was leading him into more scattered neighbourhoods and he noticed when they turned onto a road that the further they went most of the houses, or rather warehouse were abandoned. It was scary how vacant the streets were, like no one knew about this place but them. He also recognized that two or three of the walls they passed on the move was painted with like murals in Minho’s signature colors. But they rode to fast for the younger to properly see what any of them were, though one looked like a sunrise and one sure enough must’ve been a maple tree; but with crimson leaves. 

The older slowed down and Jisung did the same along with him, and soon enough the older jumped off his bike and led it into an alley. Then he leaned it against the brickwall and started inspecting the alley. 

“Just making sure there aren’t any serial killer planning on killing us.” the older joked but Jisung still broke into a cold sweat. Maybe he should’ve told Minho of his sight fear of the dark.  _ And the fear of being accidentally pricked by a heroin needle when touching something and getting like 10 different diseases and also getting addicted to heroin.  _ Jisung whispered it to himself, and it wasn’t until Minho let out a small “huh” he realized it wasn’t as quiet as he thought. 

“I’m a bit scared of the dark hyung.” 

“It’s alright, I’m here aren’t I?” 

Jisung didn’t really answer, except the hum he let out. He watches as the older took of his jacket and changed into a hoodie, which was stained with all different colors. Carefully he also thread on a mask over his mouth and nose. Then he brought out a white can of paint and shook it a few times. Listening as the small ball inside the can hit the metal. 

_ clink, clink, clink _

Minho begun making a shape on the wall, like it was nothing. His arms moved with ease and the lines which followed the can looked smooth and soft. When he was done with the rough (yet soft) outline it resembled a bird of some sort. Mighty wings stretched out and long tail. Even now it looked beautiful. Jisung moved a sturdy looking trash can a bit closer and then sat on it. Observed Minho’s moves, smelled the chemicals, felt the excitement all through his body. Minho colored it in dark rust colors, bright yellow, umber. It burned in all the colors of fire. Something was familiar about it. After such a long while of silence Jisung was unsure his voice would actually work he asked the older.

“What is it?” 

“A phoenix.” 

Minho took of the mask and walked back to Jisung, observed the piece with him like he was an art critic about to buy a painting for 1 million won. 

“It’s beautiful.” 

The older wrapped an arm around the others shoulders, but he didn’t thank nor answer the younger. Something was trembling, it was Minho’s fingers. At first Jisung thought it was the cold, but when he looked up at the other’s face, maybe expecting the smug smile he always bore to be there. He was met with something he had never seen. 

The honey eyes glimmering in the moonlight were glassy, and a tear rolled down his cheek. He didn’t smile, though he tried. Only then did Jisung understand that the reason the others fingers shook so was because he tried his hardest not to let out audible sobs. Like he didn’t want the younger to see him in such a situation. 

“Minho-hyung?” Jisung reached up and dried the tear from his red tainted cheeks before it rolled down his face and onto the ground. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s a phoenix…” 

“I know hyung.” 

Tears continued to stream down his face, just as silent as the ones before. His hand gripped tighter on Jisung’s shoulder as he struggled to stay still. Soon Jisung escaped his hold and instead embraced him, clasped his hands tight around the older’s waist. Listened to his heartbeat, afraid it would explode. 

After a few minutes the sobs quieted down, and Minho rushed to wipe away any traces of tears on his cheeks or in his eyes. Though his eyes were still red like blood and Jisung could see the reflection of himself in the gloss the younger smiled up at him, expecting maybe a explanation. But he could’ve just been happy the other didn’t hold it in. 

“It was my mom’s favorite bird, she liked the tales behind it.” the older sniffed. “You know how when it’s supposed to die, it builds a nest and when it turns to ashes it rises again. Reborn. My mom loved that, rebirth. The new beginnings.” 

Minho still hugged Jisung tightly, he held a hand on the blondes hair and kept his head so that they couldn’t see each other. Curiosity got the best of Jisung, so he asked; 

“Was? Is it not anymore?” 

“She is dead.”

Jisung forced himself out of the embrace once again, held Minho at a distance before coming closer and cupping his cheeks. Dragged a thumb over the still damp cheeks. 

“I’m sorry…” Jisung thought for a while. “How?” 

Never in his life had he been so serious Jisung thought, but still he regretted he asked, it just blurted out of him without afterthought. Maybe it was inappropriate. 

The olders head dropped and he stared at the ground before lifting one of his arms, then he traced 3 long lines along his wrist, the finger he drew them with was shaking. Jisung immediately understood. He was right, he regretted he asked, but still grateful he did. He knew Minho wouldn’t tell him if he wasn’t comfortable with him knowing. Yet he could only repeat himself. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I don’t remember much of it, I was just about to turn 11 when it happened. I can only remember how she was…” his voice trembled again. “she was, was taking a bath. And she was in there so long. So my dad barged in. And I can’t really remember anything else than the water on the floor...It was so dark, there was…” he choked on air. “...so..much blood.” 

Now Jisung realized why Woojin called Jisung to help him when he cut himself, and why Minho turned pale and sick looking when he got a nosebleed. Or why he was shaking so badly when he accidently cut himself on a piece of Jisung’s musical sheets a few weeks ago. Minho couldn’t stand blood, and only now did Jisung understand why. 

“I guess she hoped to rise as a phoenix again or something.” 

They stood in silence for a long while, every once in a while they would share a look. Like there was only two people in the whole entire world. Just Minho and Jisung. 

“Thank you. For just, being you blondie.” 

And for the first time during the whole night Jisung heard the older laugh. It was like someone played a symphony right next to him even though it was bittersweet and quiet. And he couldn’t help but respond by chuckling too. 

Minho flashed his teeth and kissed the younger. Like he pretended he hadn’t been crying. Like they never had the conversation. When they parted the older still smiled, and Jisung felt so entranced by it he barely heard what Minho said next. 

“Maybe this is the worst fucking time ever, but do you like, wanna be my guy.” 

Jisung stood there in shock. 

_ This is the single worst confession I have ever heard. THE WORST. He wants me to be his guy. Couldn’t he just say boyfriend? _

Yet he answered it with a “Of course” because even if it was the worst confession he had heard, he had never been so in love. The wording didn’t matter so much. 

And after what was yet another storm of heated kisses Jisung took of Minho’s mask and put it on himself. Then he reached into the backpack and took out the red, almost burgundy color and shook it. 

_ clink, clink, clink _

The ball rolled around inside. He proceeded to paint a shaky small heart, to the side of the phoenix. He didn’t move nearly as gracefully as Minho when he did it, the color dripped. When he felt pleased with the heart he did his best with writing a “M” above it and a “JS” under it. 

He turned around and cocked a brow towards Minho, who snickered at the younger. They had no more than a 3 second stare off until a flashlight shone on them. 

“Stand still please.” 

The two boys hadn’t noticed the patrolling police walk into the alley. He caught them red handed. In pure terror of being discovered Jisung dropped the can on the asphalt. The ball inside rolled around. 

_ clink, clink, clink _

* * *

Jisung’s parents were furious. Or at least his mother. His father mostly stood and shook his head in disappointment at his son. Her heels echoed on the tile floor of the small police station in anger as she walked around. Minho had been in the interrogation room for almost 40 minutes, and Jisung could do nothing but wait. When the officer had first brought them here, Minho held on tight to Jisung’s hand, and when Jisung’s parents came he let it go. Knowing his parents knew nothing about them. 

Then he was brought away by another officer, who only sighed with a “again Minho-ah?” before leaving Jisung with his mother and father. 

Jisung was preparing for the literal worst, jail, prison, the death row, his parents wrath. He was ready to cry, he didn’t want to be alone with an officer. Surely he would start confessing crimes he never committed under the sheer pressure. 

The same officer that brought Minho away came back, without Minho to Jisung’s disappointment.  _ Oh no they have already sent him to jail.  _

“Mr. Han, Ms. Kang. You are allowed to leave with young Mr. Han. He will not be brought in for questioning. Sorry for the inconvenience. Have a nice night” 

Though surprise flashed across all of their faces, they could only leave it at that. Left wondering why exactly they were just allowed to go. Jisung the most, as he was the one holding the can when officer patrolling caught them. Surely he thought he would be in more trouble than Minho, who was simply there. As they were leaving the station, Jisung with his tail between his legs and face painted in shame he caught a glance of Minho. They shared a look, Minho’s were apologetic and Jisung’s was confused. 

The whole night had been nothing short of a roller coaster, up and down. Minho cried, the two laughed, they became Minho and Jisung. Just for a moment, it was just the two of them. The end of the ride was apparently what felt like the bitter and melancholy ending of a coming of age movie. The two main characters didn’t end up together. Life has its own way. 

In the car home his mother tapped the steering wheel aggressively a few times before finally collecting herself. 

“Han Jisung! Explain yourself. How come we were called at 1 am in the morning by the police telling us OUR SON was at the police station for vandalization. And when we come you can’t even say sorry! And who was that with you? He is surely not one of your or Felix’s friends. He looked unruly and improper! And where was his parents, do they have no idea what their son is doing at night! Jisung!” 

The stare she gave him through the rearview mirror was a mixture of anger, sadness and disappointment. Both in him and herself. He knew she blamed herself for this, deep down. 

“I- I am sorry…” he took a deep breath “I didn’t think of the consequences. I really thought Minho-hyung and me wouldn’t be out so late and I-” he took a deep breath,“I’m sorry mom, dad.” 

Then the ride was quiet again. And when they came home his mother sat down by the dinner table and rubbed her temples like a headache was about to come. His father took over, what had been bubbling inside his quiet mind all rushed out. It wasn’t anger, mostly disappointment. Then he started telling Jisung all about the consequences, at the end Jisung was sure that if your wrote them down on paper; it would be over 100 pages. A few included, go home immediately after school, his father would drive him each morning before school and watch him enter the school. For 1 month he wasn’t allowed to leave the house on weekends, and unless it was someone his parents knew and approved of he weren’t allowed to have visitors. 

But it was much rather this, than the death row he imagined he would be on if he actually did get arrested for real. (even though a fine or community service was more likely in reality) 

When everyone woke up the next morning they did their best pretending like nothing had happened. That was the thing the Han family was the best at. So his father cooked breakfast like he did each Saturday, his brother (still not sure what exactly happened) left around noon to be with a friend and his mother spent the day sewing. Forgetting about the rules for a second he was about the leave through the front door when his father raised his voice and asked where he thought he was going. 

“Felix…” Jisung whispered and wasn’t even sure his father heard. 

“No you are not.” 

Instead Felix came over, completely in the dark about what his friend had been doing the night before. And Jisung, though he was afraid to be unfriended on the spot, decided to tell him. Leaving exactly 0 details to the imagination. Or no, he did not tell Felix that the two of them were involved  _ involved,  _ afraid it would give him a heart attack. 

Felix sat spread out on his bed. “So, you are not only friends with Minho-sunbae, but you were also arrested by the police for doing graffiti, with him.”

“I mean is it really considered arrested if I just, were allowed to go home.” 

“I don’t know, I haven’t been  _ arrested _ before.” 

It was obvious Felix was annoyed, far from mad. But still not exactly pleased either by the confession that had poured out of Jisung for the past minutes. 

“You know why you probably let go.” 

“Why?” 

“Minho’s uncle works at the station, from what I’ve heard every time Minho does something he gets off easier because of him.” 

“Oh…” 

Jisung wondered if that was the guy that brought Minho with him, they did in fact have some features alike, definitely the eyes. But it still didn’t make sense to Jisung why he was let go. If Felix believed so wholeheartedly that Minho cared about himself and himself only, he wouldn’t have helped Jisung to just go right? Even Jisung, who considered himself to know Minho very well was unsure if Minho was the reason he was let home with more or less a stern warning. 

His freckled friend was silent, still staring at the wall behind Jisung. He didn’t say anything, and his face made it impossible to decipher what he was thinking. 

“Felix…”

“Mm?” 

“Are you mad at me. For being with Minho?”

Jisung was already sure that the other wasn’t mad he got in trouble, no Felix wasn’t that much of a prude. If anything he would’ve laughed considering the circumstances. 

“No. Or I mean, do I have the right to be mad at you? No. Am I? Yeah a little bit, but only because you didn’t tell me about it.” 

“I’m sorry, we became...friends...way before you told me about him so I didn’t know how to tell you.” 

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’m gonna stop being your friend. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” 

Like his father had told him, he drove Jisung to school in the morning on his way to work. Which for one made him ridiculously early. His father also watched him until he was inside school before even considering driving away. School wasn’t as different at all, and Jisung considered not telling his other friends what had happened. On the other hand maybe it was best to tell them. Jisung’s mind was so occupied for the whole day so when Seungmin sat down with the group at lunch and asked them “if they heard Minho-sunbae was getting community service for vandalism” he snapped back into reality. 

Before he had the chance to tell them that he too, were with Minho when he was arrested for vandalism Minho and his friends walked into the cafeteria. 

“Hi blondie.” Hyunjin gave him a faint smile and a nod when they walked past, and earned a punch from Minho on his shoulder. 

“Jisung-ah?” Chan asked with a mouth full of food, surprised that someone like Hyunjin would greet Jisung like that. 

"I need to tell you something..hah" Jisung could only manage to let his face give the faintest of faint guilty smiles and the dryest laugh. He cleared his throat and leaned forward a bit. To make sure only the friends around the table heard him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So lol, I'm in quarantine and I'm not allowed to leave my house, while I still have to do a lot of school work I defiently have more time to write too. Therefore updates may come more often for the next upcoming chapters. Take care during these times <3 
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter, comments and kudos always greatly appreciated (: <3
> 
> See you next update


	6. November

Jisung wasn’t sure if it was correct to say that nothing changed. Because a lot changed. In fact, one Sunday when he wasn’t able to do anything because Felix was away and he couldn’t escape to Minho he sat down by his desk and dug up the notebook he had when he was 13 and thought he was depressed. It was cluttered with stickers and doodles from his past. The last time he opened it was when he was 15 and had his first kiss, the notebook simply felt like the only _thing_ he could tell. 

He flipped through the pages and sharpened his pencil. When it hit the page the tip broke in the slightest, and then he began writing.

_November 4th_

~~_Dear diary_~~ Jisung shook his head, he felt like a girl in 3rd grade. 

_Hello_

_It’s difficult putting it into words, there is a lot of things going on. My friends were far less shocked about me getting arrested together with hyung than I thought. I didn’t tell them about me and Minho, being like a things. They would die from shock I think if I told them about everything at the same time._

_They do find it kinda weird tho I think, the first few times Minho walked up to me in school they got super uncomfy and awkward, but they ease up each time. Not like they would talk to Minho or any of his friends voluntarily though. Maybe sometime, but not now. And Chan asked me how we got along, as he thought we were total opposites._

_I’d like to tell Felix the truth first, but I haven’t really found the moment. But at some point I’m gonna._

_On top of the whole “I’m grounded thing” I missed Minho’s birthday too on the 25th, or not missed it because I could congratulate him in school but mom and dad is watching me like a fucking hawk so it’s not like I could go into town and buy something, which again fucking sucks because he went out of the way to buy me the bracelet. I feel so bad and I don’t know if he’s sad because we haven’t spoken much lately except over text._

_Jihoon-hyung confronted me too. He told me I should’ve told him the Minho I meant was the Minho in his class who “never does his part in group projects and gets detention every other day for skipping”, though he didn’t care much I think, he was a little bit like dad, shaking his head in disappointment._

_Fall is practically over. Now it’s just, grey. I’m tired of grey, I want the yellows, the oranges and the reds back._

Jisung sighed when he closed the notebook and put it back in his drawer. His younger self always found comfort in writing down his emotions instead of actually talking about them. Though it truly was a long time ago he wrote in it he still felt the same satisfaction now as then. Something close to embarrassment still creeped up on him though, feelings was not his thing at all unless it was “happy!!!”. Once he stood up and walked around the room he could spot himself in his window. The dark outside made it a perfect makeshift mirror. Red dusted his ears. 

He threw himself on his bed and stared at the ceiling. A knock emerged from his doorframe, when he looked up he spotted his mother. She was short with big cheeks, the hair was short straight and black. In a lot of ways Jisung could see himself in his mother. 

“Hi.” She whispered, she came into the room without Jisung telling her she could. She walked around for a bit. Like she wanted to say something. 

“Hi?” 

“How are you? You have been in your room the whole day” 

“Well, it’s not like I can do something else, Felix isn’t home.”

Jisung hoped the peak was obvious enough. His mother sighed and wiped some dust off one of his shelfs. 

“You know, in 2 weeks you are no longer grounded. I know you are mad but you must understand why your father and I did what we did.” 

He didn’t. Maybe in 20 years when Jisung had a teenager of his own he would understand that it was reasonable for him to get grounded. But now he was still angry and bored of his room. He was sad he missed Minho’s birthday and whenever he missed him he would stare at his bracelet and send endless messages to the older.

But the thought of him not being grounded in two weeks made him so happy. 

The next day in school he sat in his usual spot, second desk from the back by the window. Seungmin by his side, Felix behind him. Hyunjin sat at the very opposite side of the classroom. Sometimes their eyes would meet and they would nod at each other like an acknowledgement, like _hello yes we know each other_. 

Most trees outside were losing their leaves, they were neither colorful or fun to look at anymore. Instead the weather had changed into somewhat grey and depressing, when you walked outside the leaves crunched underneath the shoes and more often than not it was raining. Today was not different. 

Light rain tapped against the window, it went almost like pulses. First there was a fall of rain so heavy it sounded like the glass would break, then it stopped and you would almost hope for the sky to clear up until the next wave of heavy rain came along. Jisung had become distracted by his teachers shoes, who were untied. He could subtly hear what he was saying, but the words became fainter the heavier Jisung’s eyelids got. 

Something crashed outside, Jisung immediately opened his eyes and followed the sound. By the entrance a metal trashcan was kicked to the ground, trash now littered on the ground around it. 

Minho stood right by it, hands clenched and hair wet from the rain. Despite it being November and the rain ice cold he only wore the long used leather jacket, which was drenched at this point. Another boy came running up to him, Woojin, and grabbed him by the shoulders. More students had noticed the two boys and were staring at them with anticipation in their eyes, murmuring. The teacher called out; 

“Okay, nothing outside is more important. Let’s get back into the lesson right now.”

Jisung couldn’t focus on his teacher when he saw Minho, who was so visibly upset. He could neither hear or figure out what the two older students talked about outside either. But Minho was animated and flung with his hands around. Obviously yelling. Then it was like saw red, Woojin was on the ground. Pushed onto the asphalt by his friend who was still furious. 

He couldn’t help it, Jisung was on his feet in seconds. He only grabbed the jacket hanging by his desk before rushing out of class with only a faint “Jisung-ssi!” from his teacher left behind. 

Both Felix and Seungmin who had seen the thing with Minho happen outside, watched like predators by the window, for they knew they would soon see their friend rush out in the midst of the rain. And correct was what they were, Jisung was still in the process of putting on his jacket once he reached outside, first to help Woojin up, who was still speechless on the ground, half lying down half sitting up. 

Now, almost everyone was hunched up by the windows, watching the scene down on the school ground. For a moment even the teacher had nothing to say but observed together with his students. Hyunjin only managed to caught a small glance, before he too walked straight out of class, much calmer than Jisung. 

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Jisung screamed at Minho after helping Woojin stand back up again, still holding Woojin by the shulder. He let him go and walked up to Minho, who was trembling in his spot. Knuckles white and eyes dark. 

“Jisung, don’t.” Woojin coughed out. Still out of breath from Minho’s push. 

Jisung didn’t listen. He reached for one of Minho’s hands and put his other hand on the olders cold cheek. Now that he was so close he could spot the streaks of water down his face, but it wasn’t rain. Tears. Flooding from his eyes. 

Not even when he was obviously so mad could he do anything to Jisung, instead after a few seconds his eyes softened and he could meet Jisung dark eyes with his own. He spotted Woojin behind the younger and Hyunjin now coming out of the school entrance. 

He wiped the tears off his own face, his expression was stern and somewhat resembled the one of a young kid who felt wronged by his parents. Though Jisung understood it was likely something very serious. Jisung felt Minho finally grab onto his hand, interlocking their hands. Then a second later he started walking away from the school, Jisung following him with his hand in the other. Behind them he heard Hyunjin ask Woojin if he was okay, and then ask what happened. 

“ _You know what day it is today, I told the idiot to stay home but he refused.”_

Minho struggled with the lock on his bike, hand shaking in the rain and the key never going into the padlock. Jisung took it out of his hand and did it for him. Minho sat down on the saddle and waiting until the younger sat down on the carrier until he begun biking away. Even if they sat more or less flushed against each other Jisung’s fingers became numb from the rain and he wind. He felt uncomfortable in the now very wet clothes, but he never said anything or questioned where they were going. After a while he recognized the familiar path to the beach. 

They walked hand in hand to the rock, stood there in the rain and watched the water become wild from the heavy droplets. Months ago Jisung was sitting here writing lyrics, completely new and stirred with emotions. Minho had asked him _what’s up_ and that was maybe one of the things that started their relationship. So Jisung hugged the olders hand a bit tighter and with a sigh he asked: 

“What’s up?” 

Silence followed for a while. 

“My mom died 7 years ago today. We used to go here. I thought I could deal with it, but I just lost it I don’t know everything turned cloudy and I know Woojin kept on yelling and then you were suddenly in front of me. I swear I have never acted like this before.” Minho let out a breath he had been holding for way to long. “I should’ve just stayed home.” 

Minho hugged Jisung’s hand back, for a second a bit too tight before he loosened it. 

“Do you wanna do that hyung? Should we go back home?” 

It seemed like Minho thought about it for a long while before finally deciding on it. 

“Mm” He hummed it through sealed lips, and after a minute or two they were on their way again. This time, presumably to Minho’s house, though Jisung had no clue where it was. They rode past the town centre, the rain was almost cleared up at this point. Through the clouds the sun was peeking out carefully. Warming up the previous cold November day, for a second Jisung closed his eyes, clasped his hands tighter around the olders waist and let his face bathe in the sun. 

Soon the bike came to an abrupt stop and Minho put his feet down on the ground. They stopped outside a big apartment complex, 5 stories high. But the facade was fading and a few of the apartments looked vacant. Jisung followed Minho’s lead as he went around the building to park his bike. And instead of going back to enter the building through the entrance the older begun walking up one of the fire escape stairs. Jisung neither said anything against it or did something else but to follow the other. Through an open window they fell into the living room of the apartment. It was littered with stuff, one bookshelf had more decoration and photographs than books; instead on the floor next to the bookshelf. Two piles of books laid, both at least half a meter tall collecting dust. The kitchen, which laid right next to it had dishes standing in the sink waiting to be cleaned and a fridge full of magnets. 

Minho grabbed onto Jisung’s hand and lead him into what was his room. It was, much like the rest of the apartment littered with stuff, a pile of clothes on the floor and boxes of stuff standing in the various corners. Jisung begun helping Minho out of the leather jacket. 

“You have to shower and change clothes, or you’ll get sick stupid.” Jisung whispered, he tried to hide his worry behind the joking voice he managed to get out. 

“You too...you are drenched.” 

Jisung almost asked if he wanted them to shower together, but instead Minho handed him a towel and told him to shower first. When he was done Minho gave him clothes from his closet and went inside the shower. The t-shirt smelled like pine and cigarette smoke, a scent he had gotten annoyingly attached too. He walked around the empty apartment, listening to the shower running. In the hall next to a door a calendar hung, but the page was still on September. He walked into the kitchen and looked at the pictures stuck on there, many were of Minho as a kid. He dragged his thumb over one of them, it was Minho, maybe 7 or 8. Then his father on the right and mother on the left. His father was scarily alike Minho, or maybe it was the other way around. The sharp eyes and eyebags, the smile, cheekbones. Everything. 

In the living room, on the shelf above the tv one picture stood, framed in the shiniest silver frame. It was free from all dust and two pink candles was lit on each side of it. Jisung wondered if the fain cherry smell came from them. The picture was of a woman, it was the same one as the one on the fridge and in the hallways. She smiled big and wore a bright orange dress. _Minho’s mom._ He couldn’t help but smile at it. 

Something embraced him from behind, locked his hands around his waist and pecked carefully at the exposed neck. Minho sighed and raised one hand to brush off nonexistent dust from the glass on the frame. Jisung could feel Minho smile against his skin.

The two boys ended up in Minho’s bed, with older one hugging the other from behind. They didn’t talk, barely breathed. Instead they shared each others warmth and security. 

“I feel like the worst fucking person in the world. I shouldn’t have come to school today. It’s not like it would’ve made a difference. Everyone hates me at school anyways. Woojin probably hates me now too.” 

“He doesn’t.” 

“I don’t know why I act like a douchebag. Or I guess I know but still.” Minho pushed out air from his nose so aggressively Jisung felt the hair on his neck move. 

He moved around and faced Minho. 

“You know what my mom said once. Even the worst bastards in the world has someone who loves them. Every single one. You’re not a bastard, but if you were there would still be, you know, someone who, who loved you.”

“...Who?” 

Jisung leaned forward a bit, so that their noses touched. 

“Me stupid.” 

Their lips met, warm against each other. Jisung’s smaller hands cupped Minho’s cheeks, he swiped his thumb across the others cheek carefully. Caressed it. The moment was only disturbed by Jisung feeling something vibrate in between them. His phone. His mother’s called id flashed on the screen. When the attempted call ended a text immediately came; 

**_Mom_ **

_Where are you??_

_Tell me now_

Jisung hesitated, but decided that today was the time to face his demons. He still kept his face close to Minho’s when he asked “what’s your address?”. 

Like karma had its own way. Not more than 2 minutes later the door to the apartment could be heard opening and closing from Minho’s room. Then a distressed voice, presumably talking in a phone. 

“ _No I’m home! His teacher called and told me he rushed out of the class and fought someone on the schoolground. I don’t even know where to look!”_

Minho’s father pushed the door open to his room and found the two boys, still hugging each other, they barely had time to react to the sudden intrusion. His father stood still in the threshold and managed to mumble a “call you back” before his hands dropped to his sides. He closed his eyes and sighed so deeply Jisung was surprised he had air left in his lungs. 

“Minho, what the hell.” His father was tall, and almost touched the top of the threshold. 

“Dad, I didn’t _fight_ anyone, me and Woojin like…bickered. I’m sorry you had to rush from work.” 

“Who’s this?” He pointed at Jisung. 

“Jisung.” 

“Is this the boy you got arrested with? Your what? Boyfriend?” 

Jisung was surprised Minho’s father neither seemed to upset about Minho skipping school, being arrested, and most that he had no problem with him being Minho’s boyfriend who also skipped school and got arrested. Jisung was sweating, his mouth was dry and he couldn’t even speak. In the midst of all this the entrance once again shook when someone knocked on it from the other side. Jisung scrambled to his feet.

“That’s my mom. I’m sorry Mr. Lee..uh” Jisung rushed into the bathroom and picked his clothes up, they were still damp. He realized now that his bag was still at school, just like the books he left on his desk. He went back to Minho’s room to get his phone, which he now saw had about 10 messages from his mother saying she was almost there, there, and on her way up. _Fuck._ Minho’s father walked up to the door that was still being knocked on and opened it mid knock. Jisung’s mother stood with her hand in a fist and ready to keep on going. 

“Who are you? Where is my son? Jisung!” She screamed from outside, and Jisung felt himself shudder. _Fuck._

“This is my home. I am Minho’s father, your son is in my sons room.”

Still more or less uninvited she barged in and kept on shouting for Jisung. Who then came out of Minho’s room wearing one of his best guilt tripping smiles. He hoped Minho’s father’s behavior would show her everything was _fine_. 

“Look mom I can explain.” 

She crossed her arms and her eyes, who were identical to Jisung’s own when he was mad pierced right into his. She waited for an answer. 

“So, the reason why I’m not at school is because…” Jisung got worried about how much he was supposed to tell her, especially when both Minho and Minho’s father stared at him just as much. “Minho wasn’t feeling great. I had to make sure he came home safely, and it was raining and cold. I couldn’t just leave him.” 

“In the middle of class?” 

“Yes mom. I’m sorry I didn’t call but this was more important.” 

She stood there for a long time. Glancing between her son and the other boy. Jisung had instinctively moved in front of Minho, maybe in a way to protect him, even if he was shorter and definitely weaker than than the other. 

“Let’s go. Get your things, Felix would take your backpack with him home.” 

Jisung barely had time to say goodbye before his mother started tapping her foot against the floor anxiously. 

The ride was silent, Jisung kept on waiting for his mother to explode like she had done a while back. But it never came. Instead when they were home she mumbled to him to get to is room and wait there until his father was home. 

1 hour later Felix opened his door, and Jisung could already hear him asking questions without him opening his mouth. His mother didn’t explode but Felix sure would. He threw the backpack on the floor and then threw himself on the bed next to Jisung. 

“So.” Felix begun. 

“I feel like I need to tell you something Felix.” Jisung mumbled agaisnt his pillow. “Me and Minho aren’t just _friends_ really. We are like…” he whispered “boyfriends.” 

Instead of getting angry, Felix squealed. “Oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me earlier.” 

“Are you not angry?” 

“No of course not! I mean I’m still lowkey scared of Minho I mean he’s so intimidating but,” 

Jisung waited. 

“but I think you two, you two just seem like you fit. When I saw you at school today I guessed there was something.”

Jisung smiled. Then it faded.

“I really wanna tell mom and dad.” 

“Do it then, if they are being shit about it you can come live with me,” Felix got stuck on a thought. “I can also hold your hand if you need that.” 

Felix continued to lay next to Jisung, he told him about the rest of the school day. That nothing more really happened during the class Jisung rushed from, since everyone lost their focus according to their teacher. Felix told him how everyone ogled like nothing else existed when Jisung and Minho left hand in hand. Felix also managed to grab onto Woojin with shaking hands after school to ask what happened, to which Woojin had told him that Minho had a bad day, and that he was happy Jisung could get him away from school. 

Jisung smiled softly, especially when Felix told him Woojin wasn’t nearly as intimidating that up close. That he was, in fact very charming in some ways. “ _I swear, I almost wanted to hug him.”_ Felix exclaimed. 

Rain once again splattered against the glass of the windows and the tiles of the roof. The trees without leaves outside waved in the wind. Jisung had his window cracked opened and noticed how rain started escaping into his room. A door was heard close with a loud bang through the window, the main door to their house. 

“My dad is home.” Jisung whispered to his friend. 

“You wanna do this?” Felix asked, serious as he could be. 

“Yes.” 

Jisung begun walking downstairs, Felix just behind him. Ready to grab his hand, catch him falling, he was there. Jisung mother and father stood in the hallway talking when Jisung came downstairs, stopping at the last step. 

“Mom, dad. Minho isn’t my friend. He’s my, he’s my boyfriend!” He shouted, to make sure they heard. 

“Minho was in a really bad place today and I could not let him roam around in the rain by himself so I made sure he came home. And yes I had to leave in the middle of class. You can’t be mad at me because, because mom you would do the same if you and dad were in the same situation and-” Jisung spoke so fast he couldn’t catch his breath between his words. He knew his parents, he hoped for sympathy. 

Both his parents stood in shock for a few seconds, maybe processing what their son just said. Surely soon enough something in both of them softened a bit. 

His father actually chuckled and shook his head, not in the disappointing way like Jisung was so used to him doing. But more like a he thought it was no big deal. Jisung did find some sense of comfort in his father’s laid back composure. After yet another moment of silence Jisung begun sweating, so he grabbed Felix hand and waited for his parents answer. 

“Oh honey…” Jisung’s mother smiled sweetly at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly longer than the pervious chapters, as you may have seen I changed the name of the fic. The previous one just didn't seem right. I have also concluded this will have 2 more chapters, both will be slightly shorter, around 1-2k per chapter. So stay tuned, they will be posted in the upcoming days! 
> 
> Thank you for reading, always appreciate comments and kudos! <3


	7. December

They got snow once, for about 5 minutes before it left traces of what could have been mistaken as a shower of rain. Though snow wasn't that common back in the city either, it was snow at least in the end, Jisung wasn’t at all prepared to just wake up one day and look out the window to be met with what was just another _colder_ fall day.That was what Jisung thought of December and winter here at least, it’s just a longer fall. 

Jisung father had found the extra tabletop from the basement and attached it to the table to get space for the now, two extra guests; Minho and his father. Despite Jisung’s mother claiming she wasn’t too _fond_ of the way Minho caught Jisung up in trouble (though, Jisung was just as prone to get caught in shit as his boyfriend) she seemed especially excited when Jisung asked her if they could have a dinner here with them. Jisung’s father spent the whole afternoon cooking, making the delicious scent of meat and cooked vegetables reach every single crevice of their house. The two parents were still in the process of making the dinner table ready when their doorbell echoed around the house, and Jisung who was originally in his room was heard stumbling out of his room while shouting “I’ll get it!”, the boy almost slipped on the last 5 steps but managed to get down safe. He took a breath, straightened out his shirt and opened the door. 

Minho stood directly in front of the door, with his father behind him. Jisung only managed to get out a croaked “come in” before clearing his throat about 9 times. It had run dry, and in attempts to moisten it again Minho nudged at his side, cocked a smile and whispered “nervous?” 

Jisung could only bump into him in defense, “hah, what about you? I didn’t even know you owned anything else but black clothes. Who are you trying to impress?” 

It was surely an important meeting, as Minho wore light wash jeans and a white t-shirt. A flash of red spread over Minho’s face and he quickly swatted away Jisung from his view. Minho’s father had brought a bottle of wine, and he shook hands properly with both of Jisung’s parents. For a second he guessed they all tried to forget their first meeting, which was Jisung’s mother barging into their apartment shouting for Jisung to come. 

But a second impression was maybe just as important as the first one. 

They soon sat down at the table, Jihoon who usually sat next to Jisung was now seated across from him so that Minho could sit in his place. From time to time he ogled at Minho, it was likely he wondered how that could be the same person as the guy he saw in school two days ago wearing the totally opposite, and behaving nothing like now. 

Minho was talkative and laughing around Jisung, even if he was in a unknown habitat around both the others parents and brother. Minho’s father talked about Minho as a child, much to his sons embarrassment. Towards the end of the dinner, when the parents became more talkative and Jisung and Minho quieter the older managed to sneak his hand under the table to grab the other’s hand. Jisung brushed his thumb over the ring Minho was wearing. Shining silver, though no one could see it there was a 24/6 engraved on the inside of the ring. It was a belated birthday gift. Minho was ever so shocked. As it was almost a month late, he had no idea Jisung still walked around and thought of it. 

After what was way to long for everyones liking the parents told them they could leave, Jisung and Minho was the first two away from the table, rushing upstairs. Jisung showed Minho to his room before exclaiming that he was going to the bathroom. 

Jihoon knocked on the door to Jisung’s room. And Minho who had made himself comfortable in his bed mumbled that he was in the bathroom. 

“Actually I was looking to talk to you.” 

Minho begun sweating, maybe he was seen as though and intimidating but he had no idea how to fight or really defend himself, except for playful wrestling with his friends. Jihoon was buff and taller. _Fuck what does he want._

“Okay.” He straightened his back and did his best to keep his careless posture in check. 

“Maybe Jisung only talks shit about me, but you should know that i would not hesitate to actually kill you if you pull something and hurt Jisung.”

“Ahha ha” Minho chuckled, unsure what to even say. “I wou-” 

“Yeah yeah yeah, you wouldn’t. I’m sure. But I’m still warning you. I don’t care that the whole school think you are some bad boy with issues that give no shit. I give no shit. I will kill you if you hurt Jisung.” 

“Jihoon-hyung what the fuck! Stop! I told you not to talk to Minho-hyung! Why are you saying that!” Jisung managed to land a smack on his brother between each sentence. “Get out of my room you aren’t intimidating anyone.” 

Despite getting the few smacks from his brother Jihoon laughed and shouted a “I do like you though Minho.” before being completely shoved away by Jisung. 

He laid down on the bed next to Minho and rested his head against the other chest, listened to his heartbeat. 

“You’re brother is… scary.” the older laughed with his whole heart. 

“He’s stupid.”

“For real, if people in my class saw THAT Jihoon they wouldn’t be scared of me.” Minho raised his arm in the air and waved it around. 

“Well… people in your class doesn’t date me so they don’t get to see THAT Jihoon-hyung.”

“Hm. I’m dating you.” 

“Yes. Yes you are.” 

Jisung walked up and locked the door to his room. Maybe he was too privileged to even have a lock, his parents put too much trust in him. Minho stared at him from the bed, unsure what to do or react at Jisung acting like this. The younger walked back to the bed and sat down in the other’s lap. Before proceeding with _anything_ he reached forward to close the blinds to his window. The room opposite of his own was lit and he wouldn’t want to traumatize his neighbour.

“What are you doing.” Minho asked, face both a bit excited but still set in stone. 

“I’m just here. You are just there. Nothing.” 

“Do you- do you want to do _that?_ ” 

Jisung promptly turned red. “My whole family is home! And your dad is here. Absolutely not now!” He now avoided eye contact, and the red crept down his neck. Minho cupped his cheeks and forced the younger to look at him. Minho’s eyes were honey like and glimmered even in the faint light from Jisung’s ceiling lamp. Jisung’s eyes were dark and his cheeks still blossomed red. 

Both moved closer to each other until their noses met and they shared the same air. There was nothing to look at besides themself. Minho and Jisung. It wasn’t long until their lips met each other too, and both tried to get closer even if it simply wasn’t possible. Their lips in sync, their tongues in sync, their heartbeats in sync. 

They had no idea how long they sat like that, at one point Jisung’s neck started to ache; so Minho turned them around and let himself be on top. 

Jihoon knocked on Jisung’s door and both were startled out of their positions. Minho instantly shot back up to his feet and made sure the t-shirt was tucked back in and hair in place. Jisung was still sitting in his bed when he asked Jihoon what he wanted. 

“Minho’s dad is leaving. And Minho.” 

Jisung glanced at the clock on his bedside table and only now noticed how it was past 9pm. 

“Coming in a second.” Jisung shouted back. 

Neither Jisung or Minho was very comfortable being PDA, hugging was one thing! But never in Jisung’s life would he kiss Minho in front of his parents. So before leaving his room he gave the older a peck on the lips, fast as lightning before grabbing his hand and going downstairs. Jisung’s parents already stood by the door waiting with Minho’s dad. 

When the two guests were dressed and ready to leave Jisung’s mother clapped her hands together. “So! It was wonderful having you over for dinner. I think everyone was delighted. I know we were at least.” 

“No no! Thank you for having us, it was very pleasant. I’m happy I finally met Minho’s boyfriend properly.” Minho’s father patted Minho’s back. Minho nodded. 

This is where they parted, and Jisung was happy his parents got to see another side of Minho that wasn’t “skipping school and vandalizing old buildings” even if he had that side to him too. 

Before going to bed that night he messaged Minho. 

**_Me_ **

_thank you for tonight_

**_Minho <3_ **

_thank you_

_you wanna meet me tomorrow_

**_Me_ **

_yes, where?_

**_Minho <3 _ **

_at the diner by 1?_

**_Me_ **

_okie see you tomorrow_

  
  


* * *

“Fuck I can’t believe it can be so cold and also not feel like winter at all” Jisung complained about the weather almost every 10 minutes, it was too cold, there was no snow, too sunny, not enough sun. 

They had eaten a quick lunch at the diner before leaving. Jisung swayed their interlocked hands back and forth as they walked from the diner towards town. In truth his hands were freezing, but he forgot his gloves at home and if he were to put his hand into his pockets he couldn’t hold Minho’s hand; which would be disastrous. 

In town they simply walked around the stores, they windowshopped and ultimately decided on going to a café. Jisung hoped they could sit there, but Minho insisted on taking the bus to the beach instead. “ _come on it’s just a ten minute ride there, and we can probably catch the sunset!”_ It was disgusting how romantic the older had become these last few weeks. But Jisung couldn't refuse either, all Minho had to do was smile a little bigger than normal, and when the cold made the apples of his cheeks pink it was even harder. During the busride, as Jisung kept on glancing at the older he had a hard time reading him. Like he was so deep in his thoughts he forgot where they were. 

The bus stopped by the beach, the two must’ve been the only people visiting it during winter. And even if the whole beach was empty, with nothing more than a few birds pecking at whatever on the ground there was no one there. Yet they sneaked behind the bush, now without leaves and followed the path down to the rock. It was obviously icy and slippery, so both refrained from actually walking on it. 

Jisung's only source of warmth was the cup of chocolate still in his hands, which was also losing warmth by the second. Minho, who was smart enough to bring his gloves (but still wore the leather jacket with a simple hoodie under it, how? no one knows) so he could sip on his iced drink in peace. Like Minho had said before, they managed to get to the beach before the sun set, and the two boys watched it as it moved lower and lower on the sky. The sky had turned from the crisp blue to a deep pink color. It reminded them, in many ways to their summer break when they would spend countless nights on the beach. Except Jisung wore short shorts and t-shirts and Minho would strip the leather jacket off and lay spread out on the ground. 

“You remember what you told me the first time we met each other.” Jisung asked Minho, but he stared at the bracelet hanging around his wrist. 

“What?”

“ _You are sitting on my rock._ ” Jisung did his best imitating Minho. 

“Hm.” 

Again in silence, they observed when the last rays of sun hit them. Soon the sky would turn dark and the stars would light up. If you squinted, you probably could’ve seen a few even now. The ones shining the brightest. 

“It’s not really my rock anymore though,” Minho said “I knew it like the second I saw you here, that this was not my rock anymore. Fuck you were there again the day after.”

Jisung let out a low laugh. Reminiscing about the past summer. Minho stepped one step closer to him, grabbed Jisung’s free hand and continued to stare at the empty sky and dark water.

“Minho.”

“Hm?”

“You know I love you right?” 

“Yeah,” Minho hugged the hand tighter “you know I love you too right?”

“Yeah.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is lowkey the last chapter, the next one will be uploaded tomorrow and is sort of like a short epilouge! 
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudos and comments always greatly appreciated <3


	8. June II : epilogue

Jisung had been afraid for a while, whether or not Minho would disappear or move after he graduated. He never talked about his plans after school and Jisung either forgot to ask, or didn’t dare. Mostly because he was dead afraid that Minho, again, would move and they would break up. The only reconciliation he had was last year's words from Felix that “Woojin is the only one that has a chance to go to university” out of the older’s group of friends. 

Of course, before it was too late Jisung _actually_ asked Minho. And no, he was not going to university. Not because he couldn’t (though his grades weren’t exactly the best) but because he wanted to stay in town for a while longer and work. “ _Maybe, just maybe I can work a year and wait until you graduate before moving. You know you probably need a chef when you move, and I’m a great chef.”_ Which only thrilled Jisung, because Minho really looked into the future and saw nothing but Jisung and Minho. And he would not exactly complain about Minho cooking him food when he himself was hopeless at it. 

On the actual graduation, Jisung stood at the front right next to Minho’s father and waited patiently for him to come up to them after. When he did he stole one of the longest hugs, before allowing his father to congratulate his son. The entire way from the school, back to Minho’s where they would eat dinner Jisung couldn’t stop praising him. 

“Okay stop! I only graduated.” But even when he said it, he held the biggest smile on his face, which didn’t help himself at all. 

At night, when they slept next to each other, Jisung was still praising him. Giving him kisses. Professing his love. It was the small things that Minho liked, because even if he got embarrassed when others gave him compliments Jisung knew how much he deep down loved the attention and praise. 

“Do you wanna go to the rock tomorrow, I heard it’s going to be crazy sunny.” 

Jisung nodded, the window in Minho’s room was cracked open and despite feeling stuffy and hot they hugged each other. Never wanting to let go. 

The day after they rode around the city in the heat, they passed the vacant storage buildings and old apartment complex’s, in one alley, they stopped completely and observed the large phoenix and the small heart. Both thought back a few months, this was in truth where they had become what they were, even if the night was crazy in its whole. It had become one of Jisung’s favorite memories, and there was nothing funnier to him than to tease Minho about being _his guy_. 

They smiled at each other before leaving the alley and continuing throughout the city. In a few places Jisung could spot a few more pieces, that were obviously Minho’s doing. Minho was more or less strict on not letting Jisung following along, unless he was sure it was safe. This meant Minho would bring Jisung a day or two after he painted to show him the pieces. 

Even if he religiously mostly stuck to the yellow orange and red, Jisung noticed far more pieces with lots of blues and whites. In his mind he imagined it was because he told Minho he loved those two colors, because they reminded him of winter. 

_“But you hate winter?”_

_“No! I hate the cold, I love winter.”_

Once the weather cooled down just enough for them not to sweat through the thin layers of their clothing they rolled towards the beach, which was still packed with people. The rock that previously belonged to Minho, belonged to the two of them. Like there was a sign just by the bush and the passage that literally said “Minho’s and Jisung's“. It was always empty there. Just the two of them, much like last summer they spent most of their summer break here. Sometimes Minho would rest his head in Jisung’s lap while Jisung braided his hair the best he could, he would listen to Minho complain about the weather, it’s too hot, not hot enough, no sun or no clouds. Listen to Minho talk about everything between heaven and hell. Sometimes Jisung would sit in Minho’s lap and he would write until his fingers were stained by the charcoal and then he would ask Minho if the songs were beautiful or ridiculous. 

_"They are always beautiful Jisungie.”_ Minho stopped calling Jisung blondie, the younger had gone out of his way to color it back to black and the nickname just _couldn’t_ stay. Now it was so long ago Jisung heard Minho call him by his real name he wasn’t sure Minho knew his name was actually Jisung, and not Jisungie. 

Not like Jisung would ever complain about it. 

Today on the beach, Minho laid like a starfish on the picnic blanket Jisung had laid on the rock, Jisung himself was walking around carefully in the water, even rolling his shorts up to make sure they wouldn’t get wet. He splashed a bit of water on Minho, because he thought he had fallen asleep under the gassing sun which still shone on them from high on the sky. 

“Hey!” he mumbled. 

“Whatcha gonna do?” was what Jisung coaxed out. 

Minho obviously sat up quickly, being challenged like that. He walked on his knees to the water and stuck a hand in before shooting a trail of water at the younger, who begun squirming with nowhere to go. Minho was right where he usually stepped up from the water and if he backed further he would soon be neck deep in water. After a few splashes back and forth Jisung stuck out his hand towards the older, who looked at it with mistrust. 

“Truce?” 

Knowing his destiny the older reached out for it to shake it before being dragged face first into the knee deep water. If he weren’t laughing so loud Jisung was sure he would’ve been killed. The two of them wrestled a bit, throwing water and doing their best to make the other completely soaked. Once they were, they shared a kiss when the sky begun to fade from blue to pink. 

A year ago, Jisung was travelling cross country with his family to move into a house he had never seen to a town he had never heard of. He was nervous, leaving a home he actually felt no real connection to. That’s what Jisung had wondered, what is home?

As Jisung glanced over at the older, water dripping down his face and clothes soaked from the water. As they both used the picnic blanket as an attempt to dry themself. As he caught a glance of the bracelet on his arm and the ring on the older. As they walked back to their bikes and rode in the last of the days sun Jisung realized fully that a home is far from just a house. Home was here or home was there, wherever they were together was home. Home was Minho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for following me along this journey, it's been a lot of ups and downs for me and I honestly almost deleted the story in the middle. But I think I kinda rounded it off in a way I liked at least even if it's very short. I truly hope you liked it! The support I've gotten is so amazing and I still get all giddy when people comment that they liked it!
> 
> If you'd like to talk with me in the meantime before I post anything new, you could always follow me on twitter lol I'm very active there! See you next time I post something, whenever that might be hah
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/hopeonmydick)


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